It's been...how long?!?!?!?

So I think it's been like.....6 months since I've even checked this. I'm sure no one else checks it either, but I'm going to tell you both to check it...so...yeah. ha :) Okay can I first say that.....I think we should use this more. It worked REALLY well for the first...like 4 months! Let's do it again! Because I miss you both.

For me, the semester is almost over! 3 1/2 more weeks and then I'M FREE!!! For a few months anyway. I'm going home for the summer and I'm stoked! XD What are you guys doing for the summer? Well I know that Hailey is staying...because you're crazy and doing more school. Jk love you. Berg what is your plan for the summer?! Brad told me that you changed..or were thinking of changing your major. How is school and the poky life going for you?! So much better than Moscow? You seem to have tons of fun with your roommates! And how is Chris?! I think it's so cute that you're dating :) Is the long distance relationship working out? An hour and a half isn't bad right? Sorry there's so many questions, we just haven't talked in so long!!!!

I guess I'll take the time to talk about me. Wow that sounds conceded. but it's not I promise! Anyway..I've been working at American Eagle. Love the discount...hate the hours. I'm a bad salesperson. But I might get put on freight soon so that would be exciting! I'm thinking my study for the next 2 years will be double major in speech and public relations and do a music minor. But that's subject to change :) Hailey...props to you for keeping your major, holy eff! Dustin is going to Iraq...pretty soon actually and I've talked to him a bit since he got out of boot camp. Things are....fine I guess. He still really wants to get back together, but I just keep saying no. Just doesn't feel right I guess. I've been talking to Tim a lot lately...you both know that ha. We'll see what happens.

When is the next time both of you will be home?!?!? Because I feel like it's been too long since we've have a BYOBJ and JTMD night. Love you both. A lot. :)

It's Been A While

I'm sorry it has been such a long time since I've talked to either of you or updated this blog, but I have been really crazy busy lately. School for me is going great. Let me just say that I miss you both really bad. I could use a BYOBJ and some JTMD with my favorite girls right about now.

I have the best roommates this year and I'm really thankful for it. They are getting me out of the apartment and doing things that I never really do and it has been a lot of fun. It is definitely an improvement from last year. I am just so tired because I am always doing something. Classes are going pretty well, but they are really intense. I had a test in every class this Thursday and Friday so I was pretty stressed. I guess thats' part of the reason I'm so tired right now. I just studied and crammed and now is my time to crash.

Congratulations on your new boy Danielle! It's exciting and new and I am happy for you if you are happy too. I know it will be hard to break things off with Dustin, but don't worry about that so much right now. Just have fun and follow your heart. Hailey, I'm sorry about your Luke situation. This is just a thought, but maybe you should stop dating boys from work...that never seems to work out the greatest. I don't hate you and I miss you! I just haven't had a whole lot of time to talk to anyone lately. Seems like I am going a hundred miles an hour.

Okay--so here's some good news. There's a boy in Bergen's life now too! He's amazing and I am really happy. He lives in the apartment across from ours and so far so good. When I have free time it's mostly spent there so it seems like I'm never home just chilling.

I really miss you two and hope that we can keep up with this blogging and texting and calling thing that we got into last year. I'm jealous you guys are in the same state, because even though I might be closer geographically, I still feel like I'm out of the Utah circle. Please remember little old me in Idaho. I love hearing about your lives. Love you soooo much. TEXT ME!

NEWS

Hey ladies! Danielle is right, we do keep in better touch since we've had this even if it's not entirely through this lol. But I think that it is worth posting on!!! I miss you both and Danielle I can't wait to see you this Wednesday! You forgot to blog about how totally stoked you are for the concert!!! :)
So things that have been going on: A boy asked for my number at work. His name is Luke. I went out with him a few times but I think that mostly he just wants to get in my pants...so I probably won't be seeing him anymore because it makes me feel kinda like a hooch and like I should go repent again and I don't want to be in that situation again. So we'll drop him. What else...Oh! Rise Against was the best live performance I have ever seen and I am madly in love with the lead singer!!! He's hot and talented and fabulous! And that trip was a blast. Allen was all cuddly and hand holdy and that wasn't the greatest so I told him how I felt and that it wasn't going to happen. Now we just kinda went back to normal, like nothing ever happened so we'll see how we are in person on Wednesday. Brady and Danielle hooked up...lol Danielle I love you and I was honest last night when we talked about it. Ya I still have feelings for him, still think he's hot, and will probably still flirt with him like he's my boy toy as he always has been (I'll try to refrain since he's yours now...lol but like when we were in the NIke store and you and him were having a moment and I sat on his lap...that's just how he and I are so Idk what will happen there). Anyway, my best friend is playing with my boy toy so I kinda feel like a little kid that just had to share her favorite toy with her neighbor (ps back then my neighbor was my best friend) lol but I've come to terms with the fact that Brady isn't what I want in the long run. He and I had our many problems and it wouldn't work out between us so there is really no point for me to hold you back from him sweetie. You two are so cute and twitterpated over each other and you deserve a hot man in your life. Ps I get where you are coming from with the feeling bad about Dustin thing and it is totally understandable! Just be supportive of him while he's at Boot Camp but be honest with him and then when he's done you can tell him the whole story of what's what.
And holy shat its freaking hot in my apartment right now which really makes me grateful for air conditioners and sad that I don't have a functioning one right now...but from the looks of Peter in his pics lol he doesn't have one in Mexico and that would definitely be worse!!! lol
Girlies I just want to say that I am so grateful for both of you. Bergen we haven't talked in a while and I feel like you hate me...but you two are honestly my best friends and you make life sooo much easier! I am so grateful for you and for my family and for all the wonderful things that I've been blessed with.
Ps Danielle I also relate with the psych classes and the OCD stuff lol they have some pretty wicked controlling techniques for it lol maybe we can practice together some day :)
Also, new people have been txting me lately and that is fabulous! I love txting friends! One new person is Bear! Yes lol Bear Chelson! He's moving to Provo so I'm stoked to be his bud lol. Also Ledouche and I have been talking again which is kinda fun! lol he's such a douche but for some odd reason I will always love him. Hmm what else is new...I talked to Evan on the phone a few days ago. There is nothing more depressing than trying to rush a convo once the phone starts beeping at 19 minutes to kick him off :( But he sounds like he's doing decently okay so that is good. I miss him like crazy!
Anyway, that's all for now. I love and miss you both. Berg we still have your bracelet to give you so hopefully we can see you soon! Danielle can't wait til Wednesday!!!
Peace out!

LOGAN!!!!

Hello ladies! Love you both! It's been so long since I've updated the blog. AHHH! Mostly because I was home. And I've noticed that since we've started this, we've kept in touch more. Not through the blog, through phone calls and texts and hanging out more! (Thank you SUMMER!)

So my life here in Logan is turning out quite fantastic! I really enjoy it here. It's really easy to be happy here because I have best friends here. (Brad and Ally). But if they weren't here...I think I would still be happy. I've already made friends! WHOO!

I'm actually sitting here in my psychology class, which so far I like! I like all of my classes! I'm really happy about that. So let me tell you two about what's going on in my class right now. There's a guy talking about ways we can get lab credits by participating in studies on campus. A lot of them have to do with OCD. And some of the studies are actually giving you treatment for OCD symptoms. I find it very interesting. Both of you (maybe not Bergen) know that I've dealt with the nasty anxiety of OCD before. And Hailey I know you know what it's like. Sucks balls! Haha, anyway I'm sitting here thinking, why didn't they have these things when I was in high school?! Or, Jr. High. Whatever. I think I've really found a way to control...or mostly control it. Anyway I'll stop talking about it because I hate OCD.

So I think I have a new boy. Ha. Bergen just to fill you in, it's Brady. The guy that Hailey had a thing with over Thanksgiving last year. He came to Seattle with us. And...he came to visit me this last weekend...and he likes me. Haha. That's the very short version. Anyway, so yeah...he's new. He's fun! For the first few days after Dustin left, I really missed him, though I've never regreted my decision to take a break or break up. Most of what I feel now is...sympathy? I just feel bad. Because I know how much he loves me and how much he wants to be with me when he gets back...but that's just not what I want. And I would never do something that I knew wasn't right for me, but I just can't help feeling bad for him. It's really gonna suck. I mean it already does because he's at basic and everything....but do you guys know what I'm talking about or am I just weird?

Hailey I thought about what you said. About it being unfair for me to not go for Brady, but I can't help but just...I dunno. I don't know if it's worth it to be with him if it bothers you. Does it bother you? I know you tell me it doesn't...but you can be honest! It's gotta be weird because you had a thing with him...but...just tell me how you're feeling about this please! I love you and I wouldn't want to hurt you over a boy.

Anyway, I'm going to try and pay attention to my class now. Haha, I love you both! Good luck with classes and have a great week! <3

Gay

So...I may or may not have kissed a gay man. Correction, I was kissed by someone that may or may not be gay. Oops...He tried to kiss me and I turned away and said that I didn't want to kiss on the first date especially since I met him the day before...right, ok so I didn't explain how I met him. K so Thursday I was at Five Guys Burgers and Fries with my roommates and this guy came and sat at the table next to us and started talking to us. Then he was kinda just talking to me and asked me on a date and asked for my number so I gave it to him. Then we went on a date last night (Friday) (note: all day I was stressin because he is 26 and sounds gay but wanted me on a date so I was like WTF!!!) Anyway, we went out for salad (ya still sounding gay) (oh and he talks gay too...like he sounds like more of a girl than I do--not his voice just the way he talks) then we went to some music lounge thing and watched some performances then we drove some high dude around for awhile and then we went back to his place (oh and all except the salad part we were with his roommate who is 20 but looks 17 lol and his name is Jake but my date, Matt, calls him Jakey). Ya so thats how that went. Anyway, told the guy no and he did it anyway. I'm weak, I couldn't not kiss back! UGH what is it with me and gay guys!!!! Then we went out to ice cream and I made him take me home cuz I was tired. And I think we're doing something tonight...he was like, "so this is weird because I met you yesterday but I have this huge crush on you..." and kept saying I was super pretty and blah blah blah which of course I like lol but he's gay! :( WHY!!!!! Anyway, love ya girls. :)

UPDATE, HUGE UPDATE!!!

Hello ladies!
How are you enjoying your summers? I hope that all is going well. I can't believe that you went on a taco bell run and didn't even think of me! Crazy how jealous I am of those boys for getting to spend more time with my best friends than even I do!!!
There are a few things that are worth my mentioning now. 1. Bergen, I can't believe that you felt the need to share my I enjoy cuddly boys txt with everyone! Especially Allen!!! Danielle, I was right! He was upset with me, and that was why. Last night I had a series of lengthy txts from him explaining why he hasn't been talking to me lately. The boy went three freaking days without talking to me! I am attached to him! I enjoy having a friend that wants to talk to me and will go through lengths to initiate said talks! I haven't decided how I feel about him and it wouldn't really matter anyway because of the long distance gig we got goin on here. 2. K so Allen hadn't been txting me so I txted him and was like wtf is wrong with you and why don't you talk to me and after taking forever to get him to answer this is what I got in the middle of the night:
You did nothing wrong and have nothing to be sorry about!! I think I'ma be honest with you, I hate it cause I feel stupid and "emotional" but whatever. I'm growing attached, I like you, your pretty much amazing...lol its probably obvious, and I didn't really want to tell you cause you don't seem like all that much of a "relationship" person and I don't want to make it awkward, I don't want you to think of this like you did with tim at all, liking you for years and such and being weird, but I do and its not a big deal, I don't know what to think about me falling for you...I have a hard time with the distance thing anyways and the other night they mentioned your liking cuddly boys txt, and it just got me thinking that you being with all these guys, I wouldn't stand much of a chance anyways, so not txting you as much is kinda my way of weening myself, I guess you could say...its stupid...
K so here I am getting a confession out of this boy of how much he likes me, and Idk what to say! I do care about him and think he's great but he lives in another state and I suck balls at relationships much less long distance ones! So we had a long chat about that...
3. Saturday night Grayson decided to remember that Hailey lives in Provo. He is living here too to work on his grandpa's farm and so he asked me to chill with him. I lead a sad and lonely life so of course I said yes. K but I actually got nervous to go out with him! I have liked this boy since he saved our butts at the Papa Roach concert, and last year when we had our one night stand, I liked him and got all excited about that and then it was like nothing ever happened between us. The boy is a bigger player than I am! So I'm thinking that I'd go into the night and we'd just chill, and if it came to kissing it'd just be ncmo. Well, I still like the stupid boy and it kills me that he doesn't talk to me! We had a lot of fun...A LOT OF FUN, lol and he hasn't talked to me since! Ok so I txted him because I wanted to (weird, I never txt first I know) but he only txted like three messages and then just stopped. Ugh I want to go out with him again because I miss being held with guys and I like it a lot!
I have a problem!!! Stupid boys are killing me!!!!!!
Anyway, that is all. Love you all tons. :)

Feeling Blue

Hey girls.
I've come to the conclusion that what I miss the most about home is hugs on hand and friends right there that I can just call up and go out with.
I'm struggling here. I have very little patience with one of my roommates and her boyfriend and would really appreciate slapping her in the face and punching him in the balls...ugh. You'd think that living with someone for so long you could become friends but it just gets harder. The one roommate that was here that I could go to for anything (well as much as anything as she could handle lol) was Debbie and she's in California for this entire term. Now I have no one to just go and talk to or just even sit with. I have friends here I guess, I mean, I'm not completely a loser, but I just want one of you that I can call up and say I'm feeling blue so you can come give me a hug.
Today has been a blue day. Evan called me this morning and I missed his call by just seconds. I haven't talked to him in forever and I miss him a lot. We write, but that's just not as good, I want him to tell me he's ok but I know he's struggling. He's really homesick.
My shoes blistered my feet today.
I flirted with a boy at Walmart but that's as far as that went.
I've been sitting alone in my room all day and all I want to do is cry and eat ice cream and then throw it all up. Mostly just eat it though. I could really go for a byobj party right now...
I miss being a little kid. Responsibility sucks. I know that this will pass and today is probably just my lucky day to feel like shit because I missed Evan's call and have been upset about it all day, but when you mope, everything piles up.
Like why didn't Peter write me this week? Why do I have to miss my baby sister's fifth birthday? Why can't I freaking learn Spanish? Why am I sitting in the same spot that I've been in for hours watching tv shows and crying?
I went ice skating with Mike on Saturday-which is like the ultimate hand holding date-and I didn't touch him. I didn't fall either! That was nice. I don't know what to do with that kid. And the whole time I was skating, I thought about Peter and when he took me. I was wearing my necklace with the locket and keys and I opened it and there was a tiny piece of paper in it that had his name on it and a heart. I wrote that over a year ago and it's been in that locket the whole time! Then I wear it on the day I go ice skating-which happens to be the first date he ever took me on?! Sigh.
All I want to do right now is get out of my apartment and be with people. Becky's at work, I asked her earlier. And I was banking on FHE getting me out...but just my luck it freaking got canceled today!
Yesterday at church, no one knew who I was and my relief society pres asked me if I was new to the ward or visiting in front of the whole class! I've been here longer than her! And I've met her! Several times! Whatever. And I can't even sit and watch Make it or Break it because it decided to be on Tuesday, but I work tomorrow! Today is just not my day.
I want to go running but my knee hurts a ridiculous amount. Like it just gets worse which is stupid and upsetting.
I just want someone to hug me while I cry over nothing. More than that I want to stop crying! This is so stupid! Ugh, k I'm done. Bye, love you.