The Word Is Out!

Hey Ladies,

Just wanted to drop you a quick post about my most exciting news.

Chris and I are expecting Baby # 1 sometime in February of next year.  It's all over Facebook and Idaho, so it might as well be all over Utah too.

We are super excited about it.  I found out at the end of May and we had to wait to tell family and everything before sharing with everyone else.  I'm 4 months as of today.  I wanted to share with you both in a more fun, exclusive way than everyone else.

Here is the official announcement we made for family.

Love you both!

Bergen

Words of Affirmation

Oh, Hailey.  I have read and re-read your rant a few times and have been trying to think of what the appropriate things to say are.  I am sorry, first off.  Being female sure has its down sides.  I don't know why we are the ones that feel insecure and want to change all the time, but that's the way it is and it sucks.  

Hailey, you are beautiful.  You are smart, you are funny, you are compassionate and caring.  These are all great qualities, ones that should trump any feelings of self-doubt or 'not good enough'.  You have a great husband, who loves you and cares for you.  Marriage is hard and it's not perfect, but what makes it great is that you always have someone by your side, through thick and thin (sometimes, literally!)

Now, I'm not sure, but from what I remember, you are medicated for depression, is that still true?  Maybe these feelings are a result of the medication or maybe you need to make sure what you're taking is actually helping instead of hindering.  

Everyone gets down in the dumps sometimes.  Everyone has feelings of low self esteem and self worth.  It can be hard for those around us to be supportive when it gets to be habitual, but no matter what, you have family and friend who love and support you.

I am free to text, talk, chat, e-mail---you name it!  I am always here to lend a listening ear and a supportive shoulder!

I miss you.  I miss our MP squared and sleep overs and long chats.  I agree that we should all live next door to each other when we've all finished our adventures.  That would be awesome.  If our husbands could get along and our kids could play together, that would be a wonderful life.  Like Desperate Housewives without the murder and drama!  

Maybe we should plan some more get-togethers.  We really don't live that far away from each other.  It's just making the time and planning things out.  I'm game!

I hope you feel better, and that the right bed got delivered and you start to encounter the positives of life.  Just remember, when you look for the bad, you find it.

Love you!

Boredom, Frustrations, Happy Moments

Ladies, I am at work and am bored out of my mind and should have brought a book...yes, I'd rather read that sit and do nothing with no one to talk to...so instead I decided to blog. About me. It may be a sad rant so if you don't want to hear it proceed to read anyway because you are good friends.
I don't know what it is but I have been feeling incredibly crummy and like I am a failure. Any small thing that Michael says that could be twisted in anyway to sound like he is displeased with me breaks my heart. For example, last night he told me I needed a volume check, no big deal right? Wrong!!!! I about killed over with shame and self doubt and humiliation and fear. Fear you ask? Yes. I fear that he is going to leave me because I am a horrible wife. I am lazy and have let myself go and have gained weight, rarely wear make up, have resorted to sleeping away my life and also have volume issues (I laughed really loud in the middle of the night because I made a hilarious that's what she said joke :( he didn't laugh as loud...). Yes. I am stupid and blind because I should be happy that I have a fully functioning body and a husband that will never ever leave me. So leaving me isn't my most biggest fear...mostly that he'll want to. That I am not going to be good enough or pretty enough and that he'll want to be with someone prettier or funnier or less me.
I have always had self image issues which now that I look back on is really stupid because I used to be a good looking girl. No I am a 30lb heavier girl with absolutely no self esteem. Every time I tear myself down it wares on Michael. Now to the point that he gets annoyed with it and disregards it. I know that I'd be sick of it too if I were him but having him just seemed annoyed by it kills all the little confident cells that are left over from the past. Gone. I am sick of being me. I have the perfect life and the perfect situation and I hate myself. Lame.
Also, my dad is taking my mom to court over child support that he owes and doesn't want to pay and it's a whole lot like the shindig that went on ten years ago with the same child support issue except now we aren't children so it's lame and that's why he didn't come to my graduation...because he didn't want to see my mom! Lame. But!!! He took me golfing. A lifelong dream come true!
Also, my mom had a tube down her throat and biopsis because they found lumps. I hate lumps!! So that is dumb too.
I still haven't seen Evan's baby which is a bummer.
I missed Aiden's kindergarden graduation...but I got pictures and he is toooo cute!
I want to do something really great for Michael but I don't know what to do. I took him on a date last night. We went to Star Trek and out to dinner and played a money snatching arcade game. So that was nice. Ladies, never let me go to Vegas, I am one of those "just one more try" people that has one more way more than once more. That silly game took a lot of money from me! And I don't have money to give!
Oh and super frustration: Michael and I have been searching for a bed because mine isn't good enough. For a long time I was resistant because that bed has been the best part of me for about 15 years and I felt that it not being good enough for Michael was a reflection on me. But he's right and new beds are awesome. So we were shopping and nearly got conned into buying a $3,000 bed because it was comfy and will last forever. But no, we resisted. So then we found a really great bed for a fraction of the price. It was on a great sale and so we snatched it up and I paid $55 extra so that they'd deliver and set it up. It took a week for them to bring it to our place. And they only sent one guy! At 10:30pm!!! (He was late because his locks broke and it was a big pain for him). So he came alone and Michael had to help carry it up the stairs besides my $55 service charge. Then he sets it up and is like "this is not our bed." The guy rang up the wrong bed and delivered the wrong bed! There were two that we were choosing from. One he told us was on sale for $699 and one for $599. He charged us $699 but apparently rang up the other one and brought it regardless that we paid an extra $100 for it! Then he tried to tell me that the other was $799! FALSE SIR! So Michael was like, "Ya we were debating between them but I pointed to that one a few times and she was laying on it so we thought it was clear that's the one we wanted..." and I was like "And you told us the pricing was $599 for this one and $699 for the one we wanted.." and so I was just really annoyed. So he's like, "Well do you want to try this one?" and I'm all "NO!" So he calls Michael today and says they have to make the one we want so it will take a week from this coming Monday. Then I was really pissed. Then he called back and said another store had one made so he is bringing it today and not costing us the $799 price. I'm like of course not fool! Ha, I'm just annoyed. The guy seems to run the place himself and he really seemed like he was having a bad day when he brought the bed over. I sincerely hope that things are working out okay for him but I really just want my new bed. Right now my old bed is on the living room floor because we took it downstairs when he brought the new one and I am too lazy to take it back upstairs lol. So that's that rant.
Star Trek is really good btw. Except I woke up this morning pretty sure that I had food poisoning. I was supposed to donate blood today but I was not getting up for that! And then I had to go to work and now am just really trying not to vomit. But I feel better than I did this morning. Man it is a slow day here, but I am pleased to have this opportunity to write to you.
Ladies, I sincerely miss our girls' nights and our random hangouts where we could talk about anything and how great it was when we all lived in the same town. So I have decided that when we all grow up we need to be neighbors :) I love you both dearly and want to that you for always listening to me, dealing with my weirdness, and boosting me and telling me I'm pretty and stupid for not thinking so when I beat myself up. I'm sorry that it may seem like I am always fishing for compliments and it is my new goal not to do so...but when I don't have them it kills me on the inside and then I'm like a zombie...that doesn't eat brains.
Anywho. Love you guys (remember when I never said the L word lol). Miss you guys. Hope to see you soon. Also, Evan should be going to Idaho in July with his young one so that will probably be my next visit.
Okay, peace out.

Hahahaha that's great!

Danielle!! You go girl! All of those are improvements and I think it's great! You have been busy! But that's good. Just don't settle for less than you deserve, you are beautiful and talented and deserve the best.
Bergen, I have no friends here except for my cousin, and she is great, but it's not like being home. I miss you both terribly as well and agree that we need to visit way more. Let's all go to Lagoon!!!
You guys are so fun to be with and I need my girls nights too!!! But I did miss Michael so next time we need to just do a big group date. :)
Oooh Danielle you'd be proud, we spent time yesterday in the garden!! Well we planted flowers and did a little landscaping in our tiny backyard. Beautiful but most of the flowers are purple...
Anywho, I'm at work so I best go. Miss you both already. Ciao!

Oh, My!

Danielle,

Oh my gosh!  You have been busy!  I love it!  It's so fun to get out of your little Idaho world and swim in the big pond with such lovely men!  I am seriously impressed.  Well done.  My list isn't nearly as long or versatile.  Sounds like you are having a lot of fun, which is what your college years should be about.  

I am so glad we were all able to get together twice while you were here.  I miss you all terribly!  I don't really have any friends here now that everyone has gone their separate ways.  It's sad really.  Chris and I have one couple that we spend a majority of our time with, but it's just not the same as your good friends that you grew up and went to school with.  

Let's not wait 8 months again, okay?  I need my girl time!

Boys, boys, boys!

Okay here I am making a post FIRST! This hasn't happened in a long time. First of all, it was so great catching up with you girls! I miss those kind of nights so much! Second, let this be my promise to answer back! No more ignoring, I'm making the first post! And it's about those boys I told you about :) Here's a somewhat detailed list of the boys I've kissed since I broke up with Tim. You be the judge. :)

The first few don't need pictures or explanations — you girls were around for those.

1. Cody
2. Dustin
3. Brady
4. Tim

The next few are MOSTLY in chronological order.

5. Tom — Met this one at Texas Roadhouse. I left him my phone number (he was our waiter) and he called me! He took me up the canyon and we made out under the stars. :) Oh yeah, he was 29. Eek!

6. Taylor — Pretty sure I was really in love with this kid. He's like the only boy I haven't really ever gotten over. But then again, I haven't really dated anyone since him, just had flings. This is a really bad picture of him, it's the only one I could get from his Twitter. He deleted his FB! Oh...and he's engaged. :(

7. Mat — Mat and I are pretty good friends still! I've had a pretty big crush on him for a while. He's the one on the right...and looks much better in real life!

8. Dakota — This was an oops, that wasn't supposed to happen! thing. We're way good friends!

9. Josh — A friend of Dakota and Mat's. So hot!

10. Derek — He's just kind of weird. And obviously the one in the front. 

11. Sheldon — I had such a huge crush on him for a long time, but he got a girlfriend like RIGHT after we had a little fling. We're still good friends though! Oh and he's a pilot AND a musician.

12. Race — We tried a fling for a minute and realized we didn't really connect very well. But we're still pretty close!

13. TJ — Between Race and TJ, I went through a bit of a hick/cowboy phase!

14. Austin — New years eve party! He's here with one of my good friends, Brooke. 

15. Dylan — He's a douche. 

16. Kaden — I've had a big crush on him for a while! He's in Alaska now. :(

17. Colton — I still have a huge crush on this kid! He's the one on the left.

18. Edwin — Guys I finally caved and fell for a mexican! He's got a really nice body. He's the one on the left.

19. Eric — I don't have a picture of this one because he doesn't have a Facebook!

20. Eric R. — Yeah there are two Erics lol. This one is a friend of mine.

21. Tommy — I'm not particularly proud of this one. I swear he only looks 26...or so! No he's 32 :) Haha I also don't have a picture of this one.

22. Blake — He's kind of a douche too. This one is pretty recent, from a few weeks ago.

23. Kato — He's the most recent one! I think I kind of told you guys about him.

Well there they are! That took a while...haha. Now please excuse me while I delete all these pictures from my computer so I don't seem like a COMPLETE stalker. Haha I love you girls!

Too Long

Ladies,
It has been way too long since we all got together. Berg, Danielle came down for my graduation. Nothing too crazy happened but it was super fun. I definitely miss my girls tho I absolutely love married life. Also, Danielle and I are both going up to Idaho this month for the high school graduation of our lil broskis. We should totally do something fun and exciting at that time. I don't know how long I'll be able to stay (honestly I'll probably drive up the night before and leave the next morning) but in that time we need to at least do a taco bell run or something.
I miss you both and Bergen you have been married for over half a year now which means that we have been slacking greatly in the getting together arena.
Nothing too new going on here. I still work part time at Nu Skin though I will be looking for a new job/more career orientated source of income here shortly. I hang out with my husband and my cousin and basically watch a lot of tv. Though last week I picked up a book and I finished it the next day...that never happens!!! It was weird. Oh, I live in Springville now, Danielle saw my new home and I really like it. It's a two story townhouse. We don't know our neighbors. There's a basketball hoop and park in the communal back yard but we also have our own gated back yard and there is a pool and gym and theater room as well. Pretty nice place and Springville is so much quieter and prettier than Provo so that's nice. 
Rhonwen mailed me a Flat Rhonwen based on the book Flat Stanley and I was supposed to take her around and take pics with her..which I did, but over graduation weekend I lost her. I LOST MY FLAT LITTLE SISTER!!!! So I forged a new one. Rhonwen was confused because she had drawn a macaw and I did a flower thing...so I called her yesterday and told her what happen. I was like, "I lost Flat Rhonwen so I drew a new one to send back to you," and she was all "no you didn't" haha and I was all "ya I did." No worries, she wasn't mad :) 
And that's about all the excitement in my life. If you two need counseling, I am a psychologist now so feel free to call :)
Love and miss you both.
Hailey

2 Months Later...

It has been 2 months since anyone blogged.  A lot has happened for all of us, and I just wanted to update really quick!

I know you are both graduated/moving onto grad school and I am so excited and proud of both of you!  You will do great things with your degrees.

How are you both doing?  Any fun plans for the immediate future?  How's life?  How's marriage/dating?  Where are you both at now?  Feel free to answer in depth with much detail.

I saw that you two got together recently!  Did you have a great time?  Anything fun/crazy happen?  I miss you both terribly.  Marriage is fabulous, but it doesn't replace friends!  I hope we can still get together every now and then to tide me over until the next time we see each other...which hasn't been since my wedding, if I am remembering correctly.  Too long!

Hope you are both doing well.  I miss you and would love to hear from you!

Bergen

I Love March!!!

Helllloooooo ladies!!! 
Bergen I am sooo glad you posted (sorry, I'm in an adding extra letters mood). We really do all need to get together, it has been FOREVER!!!!
An update here: I work at Nu Skin..I, my phone shy little self, work at the call center portion of the company and take calls all day. It is a harder job than I anticipated and they grade your calls and give you all sorts of quotas so that on top of me hating phones makes it stressful. I don't go to school but I do all my homework and turn it in online so my teachers think I am dead and my group members think I am lazy but I have my reasons.
I did get my car worked on. Several times. And I just went in yesterday to get the safety and emissions check so I could register it and the emissions failed because when I took it in last to fix the check engine light the people didn't do it and so now it is illegal to drive my car until it gets fixed but in order to retest it after getting it fixed I have to drive about 100 miles so it's just really stupid right now.
I still have depression and major anxiety issues and I have rubbed off on my poor Michael and so now we are both a glummin crowd. But we are working on getting better and I even bought a self help book! I also bought a spin bike so that I can exercise every day and that is exciting. 
I haven't been home since Thanksgiving. Evan has an adorable baby that I haven't seen in person. But I do see my cousin a lot now so that's nice. Buuuuttttttt that's about all that's going on here. I'm addicted to the TV and I have decided to start drinking! But I won't...but I thought about it in a moment of desperation and frustration. 
Anyway, where do you work Bergen? Do you still love the married life? Danielle how are you liking your new job? What's new with you two? I need to know these things it has been waaayyy too long. Oh and I expect you both to be at my graduation April 25th. K cool. 
:)  

Happy March!

I can't believe it's March already! In 10 days I will have already been married 6 months.  That is crazy!

How are you both doing?  I miss you two so much!  You both are getting ready to finish up your initial four years of college...are you planning on continuing on?  What's new??  Anything exciting going on in your lives?  Keep me posted!

Things here in the 'great state' of Idaho are just as cold as ever.  It's a whopping 9 degrees this morning and we're expecting snow.  What's the weather like in Utah?  I wish we all lived closer.  I could use a girls night soon!  Any plans for a road trip soon?  Maybe we should plan something!  That would make my life!

Winter is the busy season for us at work, so I have been working like crazy these past few weeks.  I never thought I'd enjoy working full time at a desk, but I find the work stimulating and the time goes by so quickly.  Where are you both working now?

Danielle, I saw all of your CHASS campaigns...I'm not entirely sure what that's all about, but I did get a kick out of your internet memes!  I hope it was successful for you!  I enjoy reading your stories that you post, too.  You're amazing!

Hailey, I haven't seen a whole lot of Facebook activity for you, but I know that you are working hard and enjoying married life.  Fill me in on your life.  Last I heard you were having your car worked on...can we get an update!!  I'm sure it's back to its good old self and you are not having to ride a bike in this frigid weather!

I just wanted to post and get a quick update on you both.  I know you're busy, but please blog!  I miss you!

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