It's Been A While

I'm sorry it has been such a long time since I've talked to either of you or updated this blog, but I have been really crazy busy lately. School for me is going great. Let me just say that I miss you both really bad. I could use a BYOBJ and some JTMD with my favorite girls right about now.

I have the best roommates this year and I'm really thankful for it. They are getting me out of the apartment and doing things that I never really do and it has been a lot of fun. It is definitely an improvement from last year. I am just so tired because I am always doing something. Classes are going pretty well, but they are really intense. I had a test in every class this Thursday and Friday so I was pretty stressed. I guess thats' part of the reason I'm so tired right now. I just studied and crammed and now is my time to crash.

Congratulations on your new boy Danielle! It's exciting and new and I am happy for you if you are happy too. I know it will be hard to break things off with Dustin, but don't worry about that so much right now. Just have fun and follow your heart. Hailey, I'm sorry about your Luke situation. This is just a thought, but maybe you should stop dating boys from work...that never seems to work out the greatest. I don't hate you and I miss you! I just haven't had a whole lot of time to talk to anyone lately. Seems like I am going a hundred miles an hour.

Okay--so here's some good news. There's a boy in Bergen's life now too! He's amazing and I am really happy. He lives in the apartment across from ours and so far so good. When I have free time it's mostly spent there so it seems like I'm never home just chilling.

I really miss you two and hope that we can keep up with this blogging and texting and calling thing that we got into last year. I'm jealous you guys are in the same state, because even though I might be closer geographically, I still feel like I'm out of the Utah circle. Please remember little old me in Idaho. I love hearing about your lives. Love you soooo much. TEXT ME!

NEWS

Hey ladies! Danielle is right, we do keep in better touch since we've had this even if it's not entirely through this lol. But I think that it is worth posting on!!! I miss you both and Danielle I can't wait to see you this Wednesday! You forgot to blog about how totally stoked you are for the concert!!! :)
So things that have been going on: A boy asked for my number at work. His name is Luke. I went out with him a few times but I think that mostly he just wants to get in my pants...so I probably won't be seeing him anymore because it makes me feel kinda like a hooch and like I should go repent again and I don't want to be in that situation again. So we'll drop him. What else...Oh! Rise Against was the best live performance I have ever seen and I am madly in love with the lead singer!!! He's hot and talented and fabulous! And that trip was a blast. Allen was all cuddly and hand holdy and that wasn't the greatest so I told him how I felt and that it wasn't going to happen. Now we just kinda went back to normal, like nothing ever happened so we'll see how we are in person on Wednesday. Brady and Danielle hooked up...lol Danielle I love you and I was honest last night when we talked about it. Ya I still have feelings for him, still think he's hot, and will probably still flirt with him like he's my boy toy as he always has been (I'll try to refrain since he's yours now...lol but like when we were in the NIke store and you and him were having a moment and I sat on his lap...that's just how he and I are so Idk what will happen there). Anyway, my best friend is playing with my boy toy so I kinda feel like a little kid that just had to share her favorite toy with her neighbor (ps back then my neighbor was my best friend) lol but I've come to terms with the fact that Brady isn't what I want in the long run. He and I had our many problems and it wouldn't work out between us so there is really no point for me to hold you back from him sweetie. You two are so cute and twitterpated over each other and you deserve a hot man in your life. Ps I get where you are coming from with the feeling bad about Dustin thing and it is totally understandable! Just be supportive of him while he's at Boot Camp but be honest with him and then when he's done you can tell him the whole story of what's what.
And holy shat its freaking hot in my apartment right now which really makes me grateful for air conditioners and sad that I don't have a functioning one right now...but from the looks of Peter in his pics lol he doesn't have one in Mexico and that would definitely be worse!!! lol
Girlies I just want to say that I am so grateful for both of you. Bergen we haven't talked in a while and I feel like you hate me...but you two are honestly my best friends and you make life sooo much easier! I am so grateful for you and for my family and for all the wonderful things that I've been blessed with.
Ps Danielle I also relate with the psych classes and the OCD stuff lol they have some pretty wicked controlling techniques for it lol maybe we can practice together some day :)
Also, new people have been txting me lately and that is fabulous! I love txting friends! One new person is Bear! Yes lol Bear Chelson! He's moving to Provo so I'm stoked to be his bud lol. Also Ledouche and I have been talking again which is kinda fun! lol he's such a douche but for some odd reason I will always love him. Hmm what else is new...I talked to Evan on the phone a few days ago. There is nothing more depressing than trying to rush a convo once the phone starts beeping at 19 minutes to kick him off :( But he sounds like he's doing decently okay so that is good. I miss him like crazy!
Anyway, that's all for now. I love and miss you both. Berg we still have your bracelet to give you so hopefully we can see you soon! Danielle can't wait til Wednesday!!!
Peace out!

LOGAN!!!!

Hello ladies! Love you both! It's been so long since I've updated the blog. AHHH! Mostly because I was home. And I've noticed that since we've started this, we've kept in touch more. Not through the blog, through phone calls and texts and hanging out more! (Thank you SUMMER!)

So my life here in Logan is turning out quite fantastic! I really enjoy it here. It's really easy to be happy here because I have best friends here. (Brad and Ally). But if they weren't here...I think I would still be happy. I've already made friends! WHOO!

I'm actually sitting here in my psychology class, which so far I like! I like all of my classes! I'm really happy about that. So let me tell you two about what's going on in my class right now. There's a guy talking about ways we can get lab credits by participating in studies on campus. A lot of them have to do with OCD. And some of the studies are actually giving you treatment for OCD symptoms. I find it very interesting. Both of you (maybe not Bergen) know that I've dealt with the nasty anxiety of OCD before. And Hailey I know you know what it's like. Sucks balls! Haha, anyway I'm sitting here thinking, why didn't they have these things when I was in high school?! Or, Jr. High. Whatever. I think I've really found a way to control...or mostly control it. Anyway I'll stop talking about it because I hate OCD.

So I think I have a new boy. Ha. Bergen just to fill you in, it's Brady. The guy that Hailey had a thing with over Thanksgiving last year. He came to Seattle with us. And...he came to visit me this last weekend...and he likes me. Haha. That's the very short version. Anyway, so yeah...he's new. He's fun! For the first few days after Dustin left, I really missed him, though I've never regreted my decision to take a break or break up. Most of what I feel now is...sympathy? I just feel bad. Because I know how much he loves me and how much he wants to be with me when he gets back...but that's just not what I want. And I would never do something that I knew wasn't right for me, but I just can't help feeling bad for him. It's really gonna suck. I mean it already does because he's at basic and everything....but do you guys know what I'm talking about or am I just weird?

Hailey I thought about what you said. About it being unfair for me to not go for Brady, but I can't help but just...I dunno. I don't know if it's worth it to be with him if it bothers you. Does it bother you? I know you tell me it doesn't...but you can be honest! It's gotta be weird because you had a thing with him...but...just tell me how you're feeling about this please! I love you and I wouldn't want to hurt you over a boy.

Anyway, I'm going to try and pay attention to my class now. Haha, I love you both! Good luck with classes and have a great week! <3

Gay

So...I may or may not have kissed a gay man. Correction, I was kissed by someone that may or may not be gay. Oops...He tried to kiss me and I turned away and said that I didn't want to kiss on the first date especially since I met him the day before...right, ok so I didn't explain how I met him. K so Thursday I was at Five Guys Burgers and Fries with my roommates and this guy came and sat at the table next to us and started talking to us. Then he was kinda just talking to me and asked me on a date and asked for my number so I gave it to him. Then we went on a date last night (Friday) (note: all day I was stressin because he is 26 and sounds gay but wanted me on a date so I was like WTF!!!) Anyway, we went out for salad (ya still sounding gay) (oh and he talks gay too...like he sounds like more of a girl than I do--not his voice just the way he talks) then we went to some music lounge thing and watched some performances then we drove some high dude around for awhile and then we went back to his place (oh and all except the salad part we were with his roommate who is 20 but looks 17 lol and his name is Jake but my date, Matt, calls him Jakey). Ya so thats how that went. Anyway, told the guy no and he did it anyway. I'm weak, I couldn't not kiss back! UGH what is it with me and gay guys!!!! Then we went out to ice cream and I made him take me home cuz I was tired. And I think we're doing something tonight...he was like, "so this is weird because I met you yesterday but I have this huge crush on you..." and kept saying I was super pretty and blah blah blah which of course I like lol but he's gay! :( WHY!!!!! Anyway, love ya girls. :)

UPDATE, HUGE UPDATE!!!

Hello ladies!
How are you enjoying your summers? I hope that all is going well. I can't believe that you went on a taco bell run and didn't even think of me! Crazy how jealous I am of those boys for getting to spend more time with my best friends than even I do!!!
There are a few things that are worth my mentioning now. 1. Bergen, I can't believe that you felt the need to share my I enjoy cuddly boys txt with everyone! Especially Allen!!! Danielle, I was right! He was upset with me, and that was why. Last night I had a series of lengthy txts from him explaining why he hasn't been talking to me lately. The boy went three freaking days without talking to me! I am attached to him! I enjoy having a friend that wants to talk to me and will go through lengths to initiate said talks! I haven't decided how I feel about him and it wouldn't really matter anyway because of the long distance gig we got goin on here. 2. K so Allen hadn't been txting me so I txted him and was like wtf is wrong with you and why don't you talk to me and after taking forever to get him to answer this is what I got in the middle of the night:
You did nothing wrong and have nothing to be sorry about!! I think I'ma be honest with you, I hate it cause I feel stupid and "emotional" but whatever. I'm growing attached, I like you, your pretty much amazing...lol its probably obvious, and I didn't really want to tell you cause you don't seem like all that much of a "relationship" person and I don't want to make it awkward, I don't want you to think of this like you did with tim at all, liking you for years and such and being weird, but I do and its not a big deal, I don't know what to think about me falling for you...I have a hard time with the distance thing anyways and the other night they mentioned your liking cuddly boys txt, and it just got me thinking that you being with all these guys, I wouldn't stand much of a chance anyways, so not txting you as much is kinda my way of weening myself, I guess you could say...its stupid...
K so here I am getting a confession out of this boy of how much he likes me, and Idk what to say! I do care about him and think he's great but he lives in another state and I suck balls at relationships much less long distance ones! So we had a long chat about that...
3. Saturday night Grayson decided to remember that Hailey lives in Provo. He is living here too to work on his grandpa's farm and so he asked me to chill with him. I lead a sad and lonely life so of course I said yes. K but I actually got nervous to go out with him! I have liked this boy since he saved our butts at the Papa Roach concert, and last year when we had our one night stand, I liked him and got all excited about that and then it was like nothing ever happened between us. The boy is a bigger player than I am! So I'm thinking that I'd go into the night and we'd just chill, and if it came to kissing it'd just be ncmo. Well, I still like the stupid boy and it kills me that he doesn't talk to me! We had a lot of fun...A LOT OF FUN, lol and he hasn't talked to me since! Ok so I txted him because I wanted to (weird, I never txt first I know) but he only txted like three messages and then just stopped. Ugh I want to go out with him again because I miss being held with guys and I like it a lot!
I have a problem!!! Stupid boys are killing me!!!!!!
Anyway, that is all. Love you all tons. :)

Feeling Blue

Hey girls.
I've come to the conclusion that what I miss the most about home is hugs on hand and friends right there that I can just call up and go out with.
I'm struggling here. I have very little patience with one of my roommates and her boyfriend and would really appreciate slapping her in the face and punching him in the balls...ugh. You'd think that living with someone for so long you could become friends but it just gets harder. The one roommate that was here that I could go to for anything (well as much as anything as she could handle lol) was Debbie and she's in California for this entire term. Now I have no one to just go and talk to or just even sit with. I have friends here I guess, I mean, I'm not completely a loser, but I just want one of you that I can call up and say I'm feeling blue so you can come give me a hug.
Today has been a blue day. Evan called me this morning and I missed his call by just seconds. I haven't talked to him in forever and I miss him a lot. We write, but that's just not as good, I want him to tell me he's ok but I know he's struggling. He's really homesick.
My shoes blistered my feet today.
I flirted with a boy at Walmart but that's as far as that went.
I've been sitting alone in my room all day and all I want to do is cry and eat ice cream and then throw it all up. Mostly just eat it though. I could really go for a byobj party right now...
I miss being a little kid. Responsibility sucks. I know that this will pass and today is probably just my lucky day to feel like shit because I missed Evan's call and have been upset about it all day, but when you mope, everything piles up.
Like why didn't Peter write me this week? Why do I have to miss my baby sister's fifth birthday? Why can't I freaking learn Spanish? Why am I sitting in the same spot that I've been in for hours watching tv shows and crying?
I went ice skating with Mike on Saturday-which is like the ultimate hand holding date-and I didn't touch him. I didn't fall either! That was nice. I don't know what to do with that kid. And the whole time I was skating, I thought about Peter and when he took me. I was wearing my necklace with the locket and keys and I opened it and there was a tiny piece of paper in it that had his name on it and a heart. I wrote that over a year ago and it's been in that locket the whole time! Then I wear it on the day I go ice skating-which happens to be the first date he ever took me on?! Sigh.
All I want to do right now is get out of my apartment and be with people. Becky's at work, I asked her earlier. And I was banking on FHE getting me out...but just my luck it freaking got canceled today!
Yesterday at church, no one knew who I was and my relief society pres asked me if I was new to the ward or visiting in front of the whole class! I've been here longer than her! And I've met her! Several times! Whatever. And I can't even sit and watch Make it or Break it because it decided to be on Tuesday, but I work tomorrow! Today is just not my day.
I want to go running but my knee hurts a ridiculous amount. Like it just gets worse which is stupid and upsetting.
I just want someone to hug me while I cry over nothing. More than that I want to stop crying! This is so stupid! Ugh, k I'm done. Bye, love you.

Love you!

OOO my goodness. It's been too long. I kind of stopped updating once I got home from Twin. Sorry about that girlies. I've been updating you guys other ways though. Bergen we talk tons cause we hang out, and ever since that concert, I've texted you lots more Hailey. But I'm determined to keep this going so yay Hailey for updating today!! So now it's my turn.

Boys are pretty much the stress of my life right now. Well...mostly just one in particular. I really don't know what to do about Dustin. I don't want to get married and he knows that. But I don't know...it's just so hard for me to let go! It might be because he's my first boyfriend and we've been together for 2 1/2 years....but it could also be because I love him and I'm meant to be with him. But I don't know! Dustin is one of my best friends, I can be myself completely around him! And he's the same way. We have so much in common, but not at the same time which I think is a good thing. He's finally doing something with his life and he CAN'T back out of this one. He's doing it and that's that. It's good for him and as hesitant as I am about it, I'm really proud of him. But what the hell am I supposed to do?? I know what you girlies think....I know what everyone thinks about it. And I've been given a lot of great advice. The best of which was probably, "Do what makes you happy." I'm trying to think of what's going to make me happiest in the future. Either way is going to be really hard I think. We've talked about it a lot...lots of tears...lots of late night talks. But I'm still confused as ever! And I'm running out of time............

On to another subject I guess, because I feel that you guys already know what's going on with Dustin and I. Um...what else is there? Well I've been working and it's good. Sometimes Big J's annoys me, but I really am blessed. To have a job at all this summer. Broc is a good boss and although I wish I'd get more hours, I understand why I don't. I'm having a great summer though...despite the stress. I'm always stressed about something, so I don't even take stress into my "happiness" consideration anymore. Did that even make sense? Ha whatever.

So that Chris guy has been talking to me a lot. Text, fb chat, and msn messenger. Obviously nothing is going to happen because I have a boyfriend and I'm not that kind of a person. But I'm still allowed to say that he's cute haha.

Gotta get working on a scholarship application so maybe paying for school will be a tiny bit easier. I'm afraid I will probably procrastinate this....well wait...I already have. Haha. I'll end up cramming everything into a few days because that's what I always do with EVERYTHING! But...it always gets done and hey, I came out of my first year of college alright right?? Haha.

Let me just end this update with one thing. I love you girls and I am truly grateful for everything in my life, including you girls! I think that it's possible that this blog saved my sanity last semester. Ha, Bergen I've been having a great time with you! And Hailey, I can't wait to see you soon and then in a couple months I'll be much closer! Love you girls!

Update

Wow we haven't updated this thing in FOREVER!!!! I have a story or two that I feel the need to share so I'ma tell you on here.
First: So I've been going on a lot of dates with this guy named Mike. I work with him and he's a super sweet guy. He's twenty five and kinda short and chubby (not super chubby but not like rockin bod) with pointy ears. He reminds me of a happy little elf. Anyway, I think he likes me, because he takes me out all the time and everyone that I work with and talk to about it say he likes me too. Well, I don't think I like him like that. I like him as a friend and he is a party and a half to be with but that is all. The boy doesn't even tell me I look nice...like ever! I even tried really hard to look nice one day and he didn't say anything. But ya, I just am not that into him, like there is no attraction and so everyone gives me crap for going on dates with him. They say its leading him on and he'll think I like him if I keep saying yes. What do you think? Can't I just go on the dates to have fun? They all think I should be straight up and tell him that I don't feel the same way...but do I really need to if he doesn't bring it up or try anything himself? What do you think girls? He asks me out every weekend (except this last one because he was at a family reunion) but he doesn't live in Provo anymore because of an internship so he's only here on the weekend, he can't be thinking anything more than dating fun anyway right? IDK.
Second: Tyler. Ugh. Enough said right there. So awhile back he asked me to lunch (again!) and I was like, I can't take my lunch break for a few more hours cuz I had just gotten to work. So he was like "if i wait will you come with me?" kinda thing and I beat the idea around (obviously not!) and was like, "you'd have to wait a few hours" and he was like "so you'll go" and I was like "what do you want from me" and he was like "if I got what I wanted it wouldn't just be lunch" so then I was like, "No! I can't go to lunch with you. ever." then he got all "why" and retarded like usual and after work he called me and was like "why won't you hang out with me...why do you even bother talking to me...why'd you answer the phone if you don't want to talk to me" and was just being dumb. So I told him he was being dumb and that if it was too hard for him to control his thoughts around me at work than we couldn't be friends outside of work and that he is engaged and if he wanted to hang out we'd have to do a double date thing with his wifey there. He got all butt sore, like usual. Then things simmered down and it was just friendly chatting at work (ps I told him no more crued humor about me cuz I couldn't tell if he was joking and it wasn't good that he was even thinking those things so he got a lil better about that too) then last weekend he started txtin me and was like I'm finally over you. and then we did a benefit car wash for a guy that we worked with. I was the only girl out there so of course I got picked on. Tyler and I got in a mini water fight and then yesterday he came up to me at work and was like "Hailey you are fun to be around that's why I always want to hang out and we're over eachother so its cool. And we did fine last weekend at the carwash..." anywho then we had a boring convo and he said something about me selling myself on the internet and I said that I couldn't do that because I was getting married in April. (of course I'm not really getting married in April, though Peter will be back and we could have dated for a few months by then :) jk, but really) and he got super pissed. He was like "who is it? I bet he's some fag" and that kind of crap and then was just being a total jerk to me. And he was off the clock so I told him I didn't want to see him and to leave me alone and go home. So then later he txts me and is like so you really found someone to marry and I was like dude don't worry about it. Ya, so much for being over me. If he was, he wouldn't have cared. Ugh this boy is like a bag of drama that I just can't deal with. Then I had a dream that his girlfriend found out about us and was crying and all mad at me (but she looked like Alexa, Phelan's girlfriend so that was weird) and that was dumb. Boys are ridiculous.
Brady txted me yesterday. We had a decent convo, just really chillaxed and he decided that when I go home next i need to go bridge jumping with him. I don't know how I feel about him...Allen txts me almost every day still and is taking the weekend off work so he can chill with everyone...and me. I don't know what to do about these boys.
I got two emails from Peter. Consecutively in two weeks! I was so pleased! I miss him but I keep telling myself that he doesn't like me and that I am to him what Cody was to me, a destresser, and a way to get some ncmo before i had to go. Ugh fml. I want to diet and get skinny and cute so when he comes back he really will like me a ton...but ha we all know how well I diet...I'm doing this detox thing right now and all it does is bloat me up and kill my stomache, wtf these things are supposed to make me lose weight! UGH!
I have been getting emails from Evan, he's doing pretty well I believe.
Anyway, love you girls, tell me what you think. Can't wait to see you!!!
Peace out!

Content

Hey chicas!
I have a lot to be grateful for and I think that I should be more aware of such things. Evan is on his way to the middle East right now and I am sick to my stomache scared for him. I love him so much and am so grateful that we have been best friends for forever. I am also grateful (brace yourselves) for his girlfriend. She has good standings and makes him happy and Evan deserves to be the happest man on the earth.
I am grateful for my mom, I swear I call her a minimum of once daily but most of the time it's three times a day. We can talk about nothing and about everything all at once and she gets me more than anyone in the world.
I am grateful for these two really great friends that I have. There names are Danielle and Bergen and they have made college bareable through something so simple as a blog and midnight phone calls for the times I had my breakdowns.
I have decided that boys aren't worth the stress they put on me and that if I keep myself in the straight and narrow and do what I am supposed to do, that things will work out...its that faith thing again Berg.
I am grateful for Becky and her driving skills as well. Yes friends, I am coming home!!! Becky and I head home Thursday after nine (because I work until nine). I am so excited to see you girls!!! Danielle, Bullet was awesome and I was seriously depressed when you guys left, I miss having friends so much. And Berg, I haven't seen you in FOREVER so this weekend yall better be free. And I get to see my babies!!! Tonight Mom was having a hard time getting them to bed so she told them that if they didn't go to bed she wouldn't let me come home and so they both went straight to bed! Funny huh!!! Ha :) cuties
Anywho, I have plenty of boy stories for you but I'd like to save them for when I see you this weekend. You two are great. Love ya!!
Peace out~

Home again, Home again...jiggity jig.

It is amazing to me how fast time flies. Today is my last Thursday in Moscow Idaho. Tomorrow my parents will be here. Saturday, we pack up all of my belongings and Sunday we chance the 10 hour drive back to my home sweet home in dear old Saint Anthony. I would like to take a moment to reflect:

I never thought this apartment would ever be anything more than that...an apartment. But I have been here almost a year and it really has come to be my place of comfort and relaxation. I never thought I would get used to its bare walls and empty refrigerator, but believe it or not, this empty apartment, is my second home. As I walk from room to room (a short distance) I am amazed that our mattresses flung on the floor and our little plastic 3-drawer dressers really became the norm. I am glad that this tiny apartment gave me shelter, but I don't think I'll miss it as much as I miss my home. Maybe when I look into my room and see boxes of my stuff, packed up and ready to move, I'll remember the good times I had here. But for now, I am ready to leave it all behind and start up again in a new town.

My parents will be driving up to see us tomorrow. I am beyond excited. I haven't seen them since Christmas and that is a long time to go without my mom and dad! I am thrilled to be going home and to take a break from college life. I still have a lot to do in order to prepare for ISU, but I know that everything will fall into place. I guess I just have to have a little faith---or whatever it is that people think makes things fall into place.

Things I have Learned from my First year at College:

--I now fully appreciate my mother and everything it takes to manage a home, budget, family and life.

--I now know that I am a severely emotional person who needs more experience in expressing these emotions.

--I now love and depend on my friends so much more than I did before.

--You cannot live off of top ramen and mac and cheese

--Living with your sibling is NOT a good idea.

--There's a reason for everything.

--Pulling all nighters can be a bad thing.

--Lock your door behind you!

--Be more open minded.

--I can dye my own hair without hurting anyone.

--Life is too short to be too serious.

--Laugh at the little things, smile at the big.

--Working out makes me feel good.

--I am comfortable with my body and looks.

--Boys are still immature in college and will be until their mid 40's.

--Marriage is NOT the answer.

--I love you two so much and am glad we managed to stay friends over this long distance and hard period!

--I can't wait to see you both and have a rocking summer.

That's all for now, but I just wanted to take a little time to reflect and think about this past year. I learned a lot more than what is on the list, but I wanted to keep the post semi-short enough. I'm glad we started this Blog girlies. It was a good idea. When I think of us, I will always remember that night in the hot tub when we decided that we wanted a way to keep in touch. Danielle is right, it strayed from it's original purpose MANY times. But I sort of like it better this way. Hailey, hang in there doll. We are planning a summer intervention :) Love you both. And I remain forever yours. One of Three Chicks in a Hot Tub!

Danielle it's exciting being done with a year of college huh!!! Hang in there Berg, you're almost there!!! Dude, Danielle, I know what it's like to get attached to pets and I'm sorry sweetie. If I were there, I'd hug you. When my favorite kitten, Fidget, died, I made a whole scrap book about him...and I don't scrap book!
I'm stoked for the Bullet concert!!! It's what keeps me going...well, that and my new found love for Lost. It's an exciting show for me.
My life has been relatively drama free. I got stood up for a date on Friday but I wasn't really looking forward to it so I didn't really care...I txted Brandon on Saturday night to get his roommate's number so I could go to Matt's mission companion's homecoming with him but Brandon only said hi and whats up and then when I asked for the number he stopped txting me. Um my roommate hasn't talked to me too much, but I think that may be my fault. I think I may be intimidating and I think she knows I was upset about her inviting him over. Oh well, I'm over it. Um, Brad Pitt in Spanish is still just eye candy...but super great eye candy...I'll work on being more social with him. There's a new guy at work that I talk to but he has a girlfriend I believe. Oh and speaking of guys with girlfriends, Tyler keeps talking to me. He is actually txting me right now. We now sell chew and work and he bought some so I gave him this "i'm super disappointed in you" look and I think it got to him. He and I had a talk a few days ago and he was all "why couldn't you have just given me a chance and dated me" "i'm not sure i'm ready to get married and be in this relationship forever" and "I'm not happy and she doesn't like me" and blah blah blah. I kinda ripped him a new one and told him that he got me in the begining because I felt sorry for him and believed that things were bad between them but that i'm not stupid and people don't get engaged willingly when they are miserable together so that i didn't want to hear his crap...ha then today he was like "don't hate me, i know you love me." and then "don't you love me" i was like I don't believe in love lol its terrible because i am lonely and in my darkest hours i actually think about him...its TERRIBLE! No worries, i won't give in.
Then Brady and I were talking and he was like, I miss you, when are you coming back and will you let me know. and i told him about bullet and he sounded like he wanted to come! i told him i was going with my twin and old concert buddies but he still sounded tempted, he's lik i'm not too busy on tuesdays. idk it was weird.
Then I dreamt about Conner. It was a very steamy dream. That's all I'll say, and now I can't stop thinking about him! It's making me nuts!!!
So pretty much my drama is all just bad memories that arose within the week and are festering in my head. On the bright side, I have a ton of homework to do but waste my time online. I eat everything in sight but have decided to try the anorexic thing :) and i think i'll try to go home over memorial day weekend, woot woot! lol
I miss you both and love you guys tons! i can't wait to see you guys!!! Less than a week danielle!!!!
Peace Out.

Nearing the End..........YEEEESSSSS!

Hey girlies, sorry I haven't updated in a while. It doesn't mean I haven't read your updates :D Let me just say that I love how much I've stayed in contact with you girls. I think this blog was quite possibly the best idea we ever had. Although it strayed pretty far from it's original purpose, I am happy with how it ended up.

Lately it's been pretty good. I am finishing up school (with decent grades too) and having Dustin here has been fun. I still don't know what's going to happen with us in a few months......but that's a completely different story altogether. We haven't talked about it much.....but we will. And when we do, I'll keep you guys updated. Today has been kinda sad. One year ago Tilly died :( I don't know what you guys think of getting attached to pets, but geeze.....it was hard. I kinda wish I could have been with my family the past couple days, but I guess I'll have to wait.

On a lighter note, I'm moving home in 4 days, I'm getting my hair died, and I'm going to a kick ass concert in about a week! I'm am sooooooooooo looking forward to that. I'm really looking forward to seeing you girls again. It's been a long 4 months without you guys. Anyway, I will see you both soon! Hang in there because we have some fun times ahead of us :P Love you both!

Whoa oh oh it's MAGIC you know oh oh

Okay so I don't know why that's the title of this blog, but it came to me as I was typing so I'm just going to go with it. My life is relatively more drama free than yours Hailey, and may I just say now that he is a douche bag. And I totally called it. Just saying. Punch him. Then punch him again...then call him a f*cking douche bag...then punch him again. It'll be therapeutic for both of you. And maybe then he'll leave you the eff alone. Anyway, I have a week and a half left until my first year of college is over and may I just say that I feel way too young to be finishing my freshmen year of college? As I was walking home from aerobics today I thought about how amazing it is to me that we're all finishing up. Sometimes it seems like it has been forever since I've been at home, sometimes it seems like it's going by way too fast, but either way it's over and it's scary.

My parents are coming up to help us move next weekend and I am WAY excited to see my parents and to drive home with them and to start my summer adventures. I am not too excited about living at home again, but it's cheap and I won't starve, so I guess there are the perks. I will start working at Big J's again too...joy? I'm not quite sure how I feel about it at the moment, but a job is a job and money is what comes from having one. I guess I feel lucky to even have one set up.

I am already stressing over my math final...if I don't pass I'm going to be VERY upset. I am hoping for at least a C. If I don't get that I am going to punch the nearest wall. My other classes I'm not terribly worried about. World Religions final is making a book, which is no sweat I just have to get the supplies and find the time...then there is English. Paper due on Thursday...also no sweat. I guess I'm relatively lucky that I don't have MAJOR tests to study for. Although, stupid me, I'm already going psycho over the load I've signed up for at ISU. I'm already dreading finals week and I haven't even started.

You know the weird thing about my whole switching school drama is that things are falling into place much better than they ever did when I was trying to come up to Moscow. I wonder if that's a sign or if I just know how to navigate college better now that I'm already into it. Either way, I am loving that my registration and such is going pretty well. None of my scholarship information has transfered yet so right now I owe the school a lot of money, which freaks me out. But hopefully that will all fall into place too.

I really miss you two and am sad that when I get home you won't be there to help me deal with life's struggles. I can't believe I have to spend a summer without you Hailey. It will be so weird to be home and not have you here. I am so excited to spend time with you, Danielle. I guess it's bittersweet. We are definitely going to have an epic summer, and yes Hailey, that includes coming to spend a kick ass weekend with you! But it's still going to be weird to be home and working and having less friends there and...I don't know it's just going to be psycho. I'll deal though. I always do.

Miss you two tons! Keep me updated with your drama and lives and let's have a final chat session before Danielle and I move back home! Love you, miss you! Over and Out.

DOUCHE FREAKING BAGGGG!!!

If you read the title...yes, i'm a lil upset. Hailey got home from work yesterday. Ate weight watchers ice cream bar for dinner. Watched the office. Then Trevor came over and did homework with me (I used to be crushin on him but now not so much) anyway that was fun. Then Becky and her boy toy came over, Trevor left, and the three of us went hot tubing. Then at midnight we got kicked out of the hot tub and so I went back to my apartment. My roommate and her boytoy were out in the hall and I turned to becky and was like I can't get away from relationships it sucks! Then we hugged and I told her boyfriend that if he hurt her I'd gut him like a fish with my bare fingers and then I went inside. I walk inside and...FREAKING BRANDON AND HIS GIRLFRIEND ARE CUDDLING ON MY COUCH!!! WTF!! My roommate was there chatting away with them and I was like hi, then walked out. I was mad about three things: 1 that my roommate invited him and his girlfriend into my apartment, 2 that no one gave me a warning like the two in the hall both know about him and me but didn't feel like saying oh btw hailey you might not want to go inside for a while, and 3 that he had the balls to bring his girlfriend into my apartment and then be like HEY like nothing ever happened between us. Yes I get that I was his lil action doll and that we weren't anything more than beneficial friends but to just stop talking to me, fall off the face of the planet, and then bring the new flavor of the week to my apartment? UGH!!!! I was so distraught I was shaking. Then I went for a run, in the middle of the night, by myself because I was soooo grrrr. And when I walked into the hall my roomie was like "you're going running by yourself in the middle of the night" me "ya" "thats dangerous don't you think" "hmmm guess it is." "do you have your phone" ipod in and went running. I get back she's still in the hall, "That was a short run" I was like, I have class at 8am so i need to sleep." then I wanted to say, wow captain obvious your so good at keeping me posted on all the small crap that i don't care about, where were you when i needed warning like i still would have gone in but i'da been prepared to be like, hey brandon hows it been, oh you must be the new flavor of the week, good luck with that, ok its past midnight get the f out of my apartment :) see, it could have gone so much better than, ah! hi...k bye. ugh i'd say i'm royally pissed but i'm more just uber annoyed. like UBER ANNOYED!!!! grrr.
then brad pitt wasn't in class today and I look super cute :( fml.
Peace out.

missin you

So my life is relatively drama free. I sleep when I have free time because staying awake is just a hassel. But Spring term has officially started and I am taking 9 credit hours which is the max you can take so I've been a little nervous about that. I'm taking Spanish and my teacher barely says a single word in English! It's super nuts for a begining class but there is this boy in there that looks like Brad Pitt lol he's kinda delicious. I'm also in Psych Stats which seems like a big load but manageable too...well I hope so anyway. I spent my free time today sleeping and reading my stats book in between commercials lol. I'm also in Intro to Psych Major and I think that i will probably major in psych and do family counciling or child counciling...I'm not sure yet. Who knows, maybe I'll go clinical...Idk. But this term is only seven weeks but has fourteen weeks of work so it'll be crazy. My first test is on Monday...AAAHHH! It's cool, I'll survive...hopefully.
Boy drama is kinda zilch. I haven't talked to Brandon since forever and he is probably enjoying his quality time with Grace...so whatev. Tyler at work has been talking to me more, like I dyed my hair so he's all "oh new boy you're trying to impress?" and "you look cute" and "why don't we ever talk anymore or hang" ya...ugh right...but whatev, I've fallen once and I won't do it again so there. I also caught up on my missionary writing and finally wrote Peter. I don't really know what to think about the whole thing...I fell for him too hard and too fast and I think I love the idea of him and the way he treated me and how perfect he is...so I've carried that with me for over a year now. He's gonna come back and not talk to me or ever see me again and he'll move on to his own version of Grace...which sucks big fat hairy balls by the way! I miss him but his letters tell me he could care less so I know I've got to move on...just like I do with every guy. Out of the 15 guys that I've kissed he and Conner were the most meaningful to me...and Brandon I think I was just super hopeful for. It's gay. But whatev. Um I went on like a three mile run the other day and did zumba a few days before that but other than that I haven't worked out like at all. Eating all apples does a body wonders but of course I suck at sticking to diets...and paying tuition and for books and such I realize how on the verge of being dirt poor I am so my spending has to be extremely limited. That's a huge stress for me right now...crazy that I'm worrying about that and Mike just bought a new pick up truck. Granted he sold our other trucks to buy it but whatev, lol it sounds nice tho I have yet to see it. I miss you guys. I watched the longest yard with my roommates and they were pretty disgusted by it...it's like me favorite movie!!! And the other night, I was on a roll and emotionally whacked like I often get and kept slipping and saying that things sucked balls or people were douche nozzles and my roommate said I was "interesting" and this other guy there said that it's sad that girls are getting to be more disgusting than guys. Yeah...I've sure got great friends here...:( I'm kinda blue right now and not sure why. I am uber stoked for the concert Danielle! It is gonna be awesome!!! And Bergen I can't wait til you both come up here and we can tear up the town together! All three of us!!! I vote that when we grow up and are done with this stupid college gig we should be neighbors or something lol then we could all go to the gym together and babysit for each other and have dinner together and rate each other's husbands...lol :) k maybe not the last one. But I need friends and I miss you.
Well its midnight and I have work in the morning...guess I should probably hit the sack. Love you both tons can't wait for this summer! Peace out!

Optimism!

Okay so here's how it's goin down with me right now....actually I've been talking to you guys regularly so you pretty much know! haha. But I'll tell ya anyway. 4 weeks left! I am sooo ready for the semester to be over, oh you don't know how close I am to saying "EFF THIS! I'M DONE!" But I figure there's only like 2 weeks left of class....I better finish hu? lol So I have the rest of this week which is like two days. And then two weeks of class....oh my gosh I'm so excited. Except for not at the same time because I have so much crap going on! But that's college life right? Finals weeks goes like this: May 9th (sunday) - last day of work, May 10th - science final, May 11th - free day probably packing and shiz, May 12th - math final, May 13th - MY BIRTHDAY! and probably lots of packing, and I'll probably be moving home Friday May 14th.....unless I suddenly decide to move on the 13th. Who knows?! But I'm way stoked to be home and chill for a while! I am anticipating an awesome summer! I get to start it off with a fun little vaca to SLC with some wild buddies and then meeting Hailey for a sick concert! WHOO! And then I'll get to come back home and start work, which I'm not expecting to be too bad. And then Bergen and I will start our hostile take over of BYU - Provo! (mwahahahahahaha!) And we're just gonna have an awesome summer......can you tell I'm being optimistic right now? ha. I've still got the Dustin situation, I dunno what to do about that, but I'll get it figured out. We still have a lot of talking to do..........we'll see how that works out. But there's my little update for ya! Hailey, I'm so excited you finished your first year of college! Didn't it go by fast? Yeah wow! I'm way stoke to see you soon! We're gonna have a freakin sick time! And Berg, your boy drama is not fun...like what the shiz? I'm really sorry your boys are givin you problems....only a few more weeks and we'll be able to rant about them together haha! I love you girls and I will keep talking to you! I miss you and I hope to see you both soon!

What is the DEAL!?

Okay--these are the words I've been saying a lot lately. "What is the deal?" So, as you can see from my last post, Zak texted me randomly and we talked for like 4 hours about nothing. Of course I was all giddy and confused and the next day I was still pissed and bitter and there's no way that will happen again. Alright. So I think you both know that Jase wasn't talking to me. He came off his mission because of a broken collar bone and decided he isn't going back and then was being a douche bag and not talking to me. Well today, he IMed me on facebook and we talked a little bit. So here it comes---WHAT IS THE DEAL. Suddenly all of the guys I've been interested in and that have all just disappeared from my life come bounding back into it! I don't know what the deal is, but I don't think I'm prepared for it. I am just really stressed about ISU and everything and I am ready to come home and not worry about college crap for a while. I need to focus and all of these boys talking to me steals the limelight and of course...attention from boys is wonderful so that's what I focus on instead of school :P I guess I am more annoyed with myself than anything. I thought I was over all of this male drama, but it makes me so happy when they talk to me, it's ridiculous. I need to bridle my emotions and push them out of my life for the moment. So there's my rant. Other than that, life is pretty good. I'm stressing over finals and normal college life crap, but I'll be alright. Hailey--I'm super proud of you feeling good about your finals. :p Even if you're not feeling so great, I'm glad you made it through them all and that you can relax a little bit. Enjoy that pizza and ice cream!! And seriously...I go to the gym...but that does NOT mean that I am cute and fit. :P I eat enough food afterwards to cancel out the work I do. I just love how I feel after working out...that's a huge reason I do it. Danielle--I really enjoyed our talk we had the other day. I am excited to spend quality time with you this summer and get to know you even better! I'm sad you can't be with us Hailey..but fear not! We are already planning a hostile take over of BYU provo :D *evil laughter* I hope that both of you are staying mostly drama-free and stress-free and that life is going good for you. I leave you with a thought: Life Isn't About Finding Yourself--Life Is About Creating Yourself. :0 I liked it. Over and Out.

Lazy day for me

K so Berg I'm excited and all that you have a work out class and blah blah blah you're so cute and now I'm jealous lol I haven't been to the gym in forever! Like since Alaska! I eat crap all the time and just ugh Idk what's going on with me. It's ok. It ends today. I am going to get skinny and cute and tan and spunky and boys here are gonna start noticing me!!! Well, that's the plan anyway. Haha I'll tell ya how that goes...
I'm done with finals! And of course to celebrate I had pizza and ice cream lol oh and the other day I had all you can eat pancakes for only four bucks! I couldn't refuse!!! But I ate too much and threw up lol it was disgusting and I no longer crave pancakes :) Anyway ya so last night I came home from my final and watched Down With Love, ladies if you haven't seen it...WATCH IT RIGHT NOW!!! It is soooooo funny and it has our sense of humor throughout the whole thing!!! YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!!! Anyway watched it with Chalet and Bryson (he's our FHE bro and adores her so is always over). He brought over the pizza and then we were like lets get some ice cream so him and I went to get the ice cream on his MOTORCYCLE! Omgosh it has been so long since I've been on one...the last time wasn't good...like tour my ankle open not good, so I was uber scared but it was way fun and exciting. Then we ate the whole tub of ice cream and I went to bed at midnight...the one day I don't have anything going on in the morning and I get to bed at a decent time! wtf. anyway then I slept til about one o'clock :) it's my lazy day. I've been out of bed once to go to the bathroom and now I am back in bed and think that I'll watch something on Hulu. I have absolutely nothing to do today and I'm so excited about it!!!
Anyway dearies, Danielle, you have a lot on your plate sweets, I'm always here to talk to okay. My biggest advice would be don't get married for the benefits or the fear that he's going away, get married for love. And Berg, I'm excited that you've figured things out for yourself, your second to last post seemed super happy and that made me happy. I'm stoked for a mcdonalds breakfast day too. You two will have to both take a road trip here for a weekend or I'll have to take a weekend off and head there...we'll figure it out.
Love you ladies! Have a great day and good luck finishing up the semester.
Peace out!

Ahhhh. EMERGENCY. SAVE ME!!!

Oh my gosh. Zak is texting me right now. I am freaking out. AH! He's being super nice and wonderful and urgh. I am so not over him. I will talk later about what all went down, but I just thought I'd have a minor freak out for both of you to see. :( :) ?? I don't know what the hell to do.

Bergen.

A Damn Good Day

Today was a damn good day. It's not even over yet, but it was super amazing and I am feeling SO good. :) I already said that my aerobics class started up, and that has been super intense, but I love the feeling of being sore and knowing that my workout is actually doing something! I have that class for an hour and a half on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Lately I've been going to the gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays and working out so that I am officially working out 5 days a week. It's been pretty rough and I'm always sore, but I like how I feel when I work out. It really improves my mood.

Anyway--my damn good day. So I woke up and went to my aerobics class and then came home and showered and looked really good today and then I looked outside and it was SUNNY! I didn't even need a jacket today!!! The weather was amazing and it was truly a beautiful day. Before I left, I called Broc, the owner of Big J's, and inquired after getting my job back for the summer and HOORAY! I have a summer job!! Then I went to class and I actually prepared for it and felt really good about it. Then I went to the library and checked all my college junky stuff and talked to Hailey on yahoo chat and that was amazing. I texted Danielle today too and it was just a good day! I got an A on my English paper (I was the only one in my class to get an A!!) and my professor told me I was amazing and to keep up with the writing! I called my mom to tell her about the summer job and she and I talked about college and my transfer and I came to a decision about what I'm going to do with my life. I love having a plan and I LOVE talking to my mom. I always feel better after chatting with her. So then I came home and watched Whip It--which is a super great movie--I highly recommend it. Now I'm waiting for a lecture to start and thinking about how my day could possibly get any better!

I hope that both of you are having good days too and that things are going the way you want or better!! I'm sorry to hear about your Ally dilemma Danielle, but I'm here for you and I don't care who you date (unless it's Toby Hemingway!!), then we might have a problem :P And Hailey, I hope that finals go really well for you and that you manage to study well, but not get too stressed. I love and miss you both and can't wait until we can all get breakfast at McDonald's and talk about our boy drama. :) Have a spectacular day! Over and Out.

True Friends?

Okay so hello my beloved friends! Long time no talk. We are not very good at this updating blog thingy. Anyway, I have something I wanna write about cause it's bothering me. Hailey, I kinda already told you about it, anyway here's my rant.

So I was on facebook last night just kinda chillin and I get a message on FB chat from Ally. Okay first of all you guys know Ally hates Dustin right? Do you know why? Well like two years ago Me, Dustin, and Ally were talking. Ally was super pissed at Kade that night so...Dustin kinda jokingly called him a bitch (even though Dustin doesn't really like him anyway) and Ally flipped! All of the sudden Kade wasn't being a douchebag anymore and thus began the decline of our friendship! :(

Ever since then, Ally and I have kind of drifted apart. Well partly because she started going to school and working full time and then we both moved, but then there was some drama between us last summer when Hanne was visiting. Anyway, back to the original story....Ally and I started talking on facebook chat and she asked how I was doing and vice versa. She made the comment that we've drifted apart as friends and then I told her that it could be something that could easily be fixed. So she was like oh yeah just as long as you move to Logan and hang out with me! (Because I'm probably going to Logan next semester) And I was getting ready to type "Oh yeah that's the plan".......and she just had to do it. She then proceeded to send me a comment saying "as long as dustin doesn't come." My giddiness of rekindling a friendship died and I told her to be nice and then said that Dustin had joined the Army, so no he wouldn't be coming. She kind of acted all wierd in a "Why the hell would he do that?" sort of way.

Whatever, the point is, I felt like she gave me an ultimatum there. Like she pretty much said we can only be friends if Dustin isn't around. Okay I can understand maybe doing something like that if Dustin was a complete douchebag and an ass or something like that....but he's not! I feel like if we were real friends, she wouldn't let him get in between us ya know? It really bothered me when she said that. Whenever we hang out, she can NEVER go the entire time without making a Dustin comment and I just don't get it. How can you be so immature as to keep this dumb little grudge for so long? I've had a few people tell me they don't like Dustin...so what. I don't care. WTF?!

Alright so I'll stop ranting now, you get my point right? I guess it just makes me sad that she's really doing this. Especially when I feel like Dustin is in the middle of making the biggest decision of his life (actually it's already made but that's beside the point) and she can't even seem to support him once he's part of the freakin military. Damn. I'm just really happy to know that I DO have friends that love me whether I'm dating Dustin or not. Hailey has no problem with him. Bergen, I've never gotten the feeling that you do...even if you guys didn't like him I don't think you'd let it come between us. This is awful to say, but we're not huge fans of Staisha's BF right? But we're still super tight with her because we love her. Anyway, I'll end this now. Thanks for be amazing friends and I love you guys!

Update para ti

Ok so wow, it snowed here in Utah too. You know where it didn't snow? Alaska! Ha it was great weather!
Danielle, that's insane! I can't believe he decided that quickly, but I bet it's crossed his mind before. The army is a pretty tough one but I think marines is worse. He should have joined the air force. I quite enjoy AF boys, :) But I hope that whatever happens with you two is for the best. I think that USU is a great school too, but you should probably try for the random scholarships that you can get online that aren't through the schools, those are pretty helpful.
Bergen, I'm sorry about the snow. I would have gone back to bed haha cuz I'm cool like that. I don't much enjoy morning classes either. I am so not ready to go back to school again.
Ok so here is my update:
Last Tuesday I spent all day in the airport with Nolan. It was alright, long and boring but whatev. Then on the plane I sat by these smoker, foul mouthed, stinky people. It was upsetting and I wanted to move. But I tried to sleep the majority of the flight.
We got into Anchorage at quarter to one in the morning. At baggage claim we were all looking around for Evan. I saw him first and of course ran and hugged him! He is my favorite!!! He looks so great! He's all buff and what not and his hair is short but not bald and he looks great. Nolan was also stoked to see him. So between my Nana and us siblings, there was a lot of hugging going on.
Then we went to our hotel and got settled in. Evan went back to his apartment because he had to work in the morning. Adjusting from the time change and long day of travel, we all slept in for forever. When we woke up we had just enough time to get ready before Evan got off work. Then we met him at the mall and shopped around a bit. He invited Chelsea (his girlyfriend) to meet us there during her break...I tried really hard to be nice but I pretty much failed. Then she left :) Nana, Nolan, Evan and I then went to dinner with some of Evan's friends: Dakota and his wife, and Teejay. I had no problem being nice to the boys :) They were both very funny and kind of flirty. Ha they pulled some fat jokes though, it went like this:
Me: Here I am eating a salad but watch, I'll gorge myself in cake later for my bday.
Dakota's wife: You don't need to count calories anyway
Dakota: Are you kidding?
My jaw drops
Dakota: Oh! I don't know you well enough to joke like that yet! You don't need to diet!

Then later, I got a cake (note, we all got cake!)
while I was eating it
Teejay: Hailey, do you feel a little weighed down?

It was terrible but funny. Then when we were all hugging goodbye (people in Alaska hug lots) Dakota was like: give me a hug Hailey, oh wait, I don't know if I can reach my arms around you.
So I punched him in the sternum. It hurt my hand, ha it was awesome.
Then outside we were hugging again and Dakota gave Nolan a high five and went to give me one but while we were practicing the looking at elbows thing, I (jokingly) went for his face and then he actually hit mine! ha he's a fun guy.
Later he txted Evan: Dude your sister, if I was married...lol :)
Hahaha it made my day cuz he was a cutie. But he left for training in Guam the next day so I didn't see him anymore.
The next day we all just kind of hung out and spent time together, going to gift shops and stuff during the day and what not. Then we took a tour of base and stuff. Then Nolan, Evan, and I went to the midnight showing of Clash of the Titans. We went with Teejay and of course Chelsea. Again, I tried to be nice, I did better...haha. Oh and Nolan totally ruined my game and sat in between me and Teejay, ugh upsetting. lol but Sam Worthington is pretty much gorgeous so I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. The boys were a little disappointed in it though.
Then on Friday we did more hanging out and such. Evan and Chelsea took Nolan and I to an Easter Pagent at the Baptist Temple--the story was just a bible story, but some of the prayers and songs and such were nutso.
Then we picked up my Nana and went out to ice cream (note I probably gained a billion pounds there---no joke we ate crap the whole time...and tons of it!) and by this point Chelsea was growing on me a little and I was much nicer.
Evan stayed the night with us in the hotel that night. The next day, Nana and I went and got our nails done and Evan and Nolan did Evan's laundry and hung with Teejay. (Teejay is Evan's roommate). Then we met up with them (Teejay came just to drive Evan's truck so he could take it back to base because we were going out of town. That was the last time I saw Teejay. He looks like a whiter version of Peter, they have similar faces...needless to say I liked him :) We hugged! Ha that was my excitement.
Then we drove two hours up into the mountains where Chelsea's parents have a cabin. We met them and did the chatting thing and then ate with them and then we stayed in their guest cabin. Oh wait, So for my birthday I had called Evan weeks ago and told him that since he had an iPhone that he didn't need his iTouch and should just mail it to me. So while I was there I was like You giving me your iTouch yet? and he of course said no...Then HE BOUGHT ME A NEW ONE!!!
So when we went to the guest cabin, Nolan and I spent the night putting Evan's music on my ipod while Evan and Chelsea watched Ben Button.
The next morning was Sunday and so we got up and got ready for church. First we went to a brunch that the church put on. Everyone seemed to be related to Chelsea's family. Like their church was like a big family reunion. And NO CUTE BOYS ANYWHERE!!! They all looked imbred lol it's rude but...kinda true. Anyway then we went to the church service and it was nutso. No one was in sunday dress-like people wore jeans! and there was a drum set and all sorts of music for the band and choir and then the hymns were put on a projector and we all had to sing them. One of them was words to a Beethoven song! It was so weird! They had like a Sunday school session for lil kids up front, in front of all of us. They did a monoloug. And then the preaching was just whacked. Idk, I struggled.
Then we stayed at Chelsea's parents' forever and met more of her fam and just sat and talked--so just sat for me. Then Nolan, Chelsea, Evan and I went out to a horse ranch and then a camp site that was like an abandoned city theme in the old west, it was cute. Ha we played around there for a while. Then we got in a snowball fight (it was warm enough to just wear a sweater but there was about three feet on snow on the ground). Ha I got to push Chelsea in the snow and throw snow on her while she was down...it was safisfying. I liked her better by now. Her family was super nice too.
Anyway then we ate dinner, talked more (UGH!) and then finally hit the road. On the two hour ride back we (we being Nana, Evan and I) got into a religious discussion and tried to explain gospel principles to Nolan. Evan is very sure that he is right and knows the truth and the rest of us are being led by false prophets. His close mindedness is really hard for me and makes me sad, but I am glad that he found God and loves Christ. That church was nutso though.
Once in Anchorage, we went to dinner with Matt. Mmm he's the boy I met on Skype that plays the guitar and is super cute. It was nice having dinner with him. He's a funny kid. And then that was it. Nana, Nolan and I had to get checked into the airport so Evan rode with us and Matt drove his car there so he could take Evan home (well actually he had to take Evan to the hospital..his smallpox vaccine was whackin out and he was getting pox!).
I tried not to cry as I hugged Evan goodbye...but I failed miserably. Nolan did better, he was super sad though. Nana only got teary when she saw me crying. Anyway, Matt sat there awkwardly and I was like: don't be so insensitive you jerk! lol He gave me a hug and was like it was really great to finally meet you in person, you're super funny.
Then I hugged Evan more but he really had to go to the doc so I had to let him go. Then we waited until our flight which left at like 2am and I slept most of the way..but I threw my back out and it kills to move. I've pretty much been in bed all day. Nolan is safely back in St. A and my Nana is safely in Boise. It was an awesome trip.
I saw three wild moose! Two were laying down not far from where Nolan and I were walking in a park and the third ran across the super busy street! It was funny. Alaska is gorgeous! Evan was my favorite part though. It had been exactly a year since I'd seen him. No joke, the day before my bday last year I was stuck in the Denver airport coming back from Texas and the day before it this year I was in the SLC airport headin for Alaska. I missed him soooo much! He is my favorite. I'm struggling now. I've been crying and sleeping and eating all day.
I didn't like Chelsea because she was dating my brother and I didn't think she was good enough. Then because she had a super high annoying voice and a baby lisp kind of, and pencil thin eyebrows. But mostly because she's been with him forever and I haven't seen him in a year and he still wanted to do everything with her. I guess it's safe to say that I was jealous. But she is a funny girl and is super nice so I went out of my way and added her on facebook.
I miss Evan, have I mentioned that?
Well ya, now I'm back. I'm a week behind in school and I only have a week left of classes before finals. I am super depressed and probably ten pounds fatter. Kinda sucks. But that's my update. I love you girls!!!

Drastic Changes

Yes...I awoke to the some nasty weather this morning, just like you Bergen! Well not just like....but nasty nonetheless. I know EXACTLY what you're going through with your early morning exercise class....ha I dropped mine. It feels very nice. I'm not feeling much guilt at all. Although part of it was because I was lazy...the other party was that I'm just too busy. I never got enough sleep to endure that kind of a workout and I couldn't just start going to bed earlier. My schedule is such that I spend the late hours of the night doing homework...THAT'S why I'm too busy for the class.

And yes Bergen, I do have an update for you. Well with Dustin and picking a school...things have gotten quite complicated. Dustin and picking a school have become to topics that are no longer intertwined. First of all, I will explain my new picking a school dilemma, then Dustin. Well I've pretty much decided that I want to go to USU. I really like it there, and I think that I would be happy there and I really like the school....I want to go there. Unfortunately, I'm having a hard time coming up with the money. I was ALMOST eligible for some pretty fantastic scholarships (almost meaning I don't qualify as a transfer student because apparently a transfer student is one with TWO years of college credits), but I did not get them based a pretty dumb reason. As stated before, I do not enough credits to be considered a transfer student, but I have too many credits to be considered a freshman students. So that pretty much sucks ass because I spent a ton of time applying for the ambassador scholarship and I though I was pretty damn qualified...except for those credits. I mean come on, why would a student with two years of college be SOOO much better than me? Oh yeah they offer this scholarship to freshman too....so freshman and 2-year college students.....none for me! Well actually yes...one for me. I got a scholarship that allows me to pay 1 1/2 times instate tuition. So it'd be like $3500 a semester for tuition, which is actually cheaper than ISU I think. But when you figure in living expenses and everything else....it's still really expensive and I'm not quite willing to get into student loans yet. My mom is kind of trying to talk me into staying at CSI or go into something medical at EITC because they're both cheap. But I dunno....I'm also not willing to go to a school based on money again. I did it for my first year and I've pretty much hated it. So I think I'll still be going to USU.....I just don't know how I'm going to pay for it yet.
The Dustin situation has DRASTICALLY changed. As you know, he sort of ran out of money and had to move home. Since then he's been looking for a job, but has not been very successful except for the shitty hours Maverik gives him. Alright so a couple weeks ago his parents had a talk with him and told him that to be a functioning member of society, he needed a job that gave him AT LEAST 30 hours a week. They told him that if he didn't find a better job in two weeks, they're cutting his internet and if he didn't find a better job in a month, they were disconnecting his phone line. Which is understandable on their part. So here's Dustin in this sticky dilemma, he doesn't know what to do......so guess what he does? Dustin has decided to join the military. And honestly, I'm behind him 100%. I've always been supportive of the military and it has great benefits. He did it quite fast though. Like...within a week. He's going to Montana on Thursday with his recruiter to get his MEPS done (medical tests). Like I said though...I think he might have done it too fast. He didn't give many branches much thought, just a few. And surprisingly, he chose the Army. Which......I dunno. Why would you choose the Army? I've always heard (and from credible sources too) that it's the hardest and most brutal with the least opportunities....I dunno. I wish I could have talked to him more about it *sigh*, but it's too late now. We'll see how it goes from here. As to what's going to happen to us as a couple? I don't know.....like I said we'll just have to see.
Hailey.....I also want an update from your adventure in Alaska! Post SOON! I can't wait to see you guys this summer. Bergen, when will you be home? Love you both!

Spring? I think not...

Mondays always suck. I am not new to this fact. I'm sure that all of us are very aware that Mondays suck. This particularly Monday--of which it is only 8:25 in the morning--sucks. I woke up at 7:30 with my alarm and sat up, only to fall right back down again and think, "I really don't want to go to aerobics today." Knowing myself pretty well, I forced myself out of bed. If I didn't get up THAT MINUTE, I was going to fall asleep again. So I made my way to the bathroom, I put my hair up, fixed my cover-up, put my tenni-runners on, I stepped outside and lo and behold--it's snowing. NOT OKAY! After about three seconds of standing in my doorway, I unlocked my door and came back inside. I made myself some hot chocolate and turned on my little space heater. Aerobics class starts at 8:30 and it is currently 8:27. I don't think I'll be going today.

First of all--why is it snowing? It's April for crying out loud. I think it's high time for some warm weather completely void of snow. Second of all--why in the bleep did I decide to take an early morning physical class?!? AGAIN! You think I would have learned the first time. Thirdly--I really want to get a tan. I really want Mr. Golden Sun to please shine down on me and make me dark and acne free!! (Not that I have acne, but hey, it helps with zits so I'm all for it). I really want to put on my shorts and walk around without a jacket on. I want to shave my legs and know that they won't freeze to death. I am disliking Idaho weather more than ever right now. I want summer.

That's my Monday news. I hope that you are both well and that all is well for you! I hope it's not snowing wherever you two are. Hailey--I want a post about your Alaska adventure. Danielle--I want an update about you and Dustin and school!! Miss you both. Can't wait to hang with each other this summer--when it's warm and SNOW FREE! Over and Out.

update...woo

Ok so Idk what Brandon's deal is. But I SAW him today...like he didn't come to see me, he went into Sportsman's Warehouse while I was at work and I saw him. He didn't say hi. I don't even think he saw me, I was like wtf you know I work here kid what is your problem! Ugh whatever. I am moving on...or trying to...blah I suck at boys and I want one sooo freaking bad! Grrr. Whatever, I'll be fine, alone...by myself...without a guy to hold me when I need it most...lol pathetic aren't I?
I went to the gym today. That was nice. So I ran to the gym. Worked out and saw the cutest boy like ever!!! Ha I couldn't stop looking at him! I think he noticed :) haha then I ran/walked home. Good hour or so workout. That was nice seeing as I eat ice cream and chocolate daily. Ugh
I'm pretty much a mess right now. I want this boy to want me. I want Evan to be able to stay in Alaska where I feel that he's safer. I want my birthday present that is in the office cuz I missed the UPS guy while I was at work. I want my homework to be done. I want to be skinny. I want to be happy. The worst thing is that when Brandon and I started, I was giddy as a clam!! I was the happiest I'd been in forever! Ugh and it was all a ploy! :( suck.
Oh well.
I hope things are going well for you too. Berg, I'm excited for your cooking thing, I hope that works out nicely for you. Danielle good luck on picking schools. I miss you girls and love you tons. Peace out.

My Weekly Update

First of all, sorry for not writing as much. I do at least once a week though! I've just been super busy lately. Which is why I can't wait for this to be over! I think there's only like a month and a half left. My latest annoyance is my spinning class. Ha, I love the workout I get, but I HATE waking up at 7am. Well actually I wake up at 6:30, but it really sucks. And my schedule is so busy that I can't usually go to bed till around midnight so I only get about 6 hours of sleep. With my previous schedule 6 hours of sleep wasn't too bad, but now that I'm doing this working out stuff, it just kills me! I'm so tired all the time! So I didn't go to spinning this morning. Which is kinda funny cause our teacher told us not to miss this morning cause they were doing heart rate monitors. The other thing is that the teacher isn't my favorite. When I'm doing cardio, I like to go at my own pace. I don't like to push myself to the point of throwing up! And that's how I feel in the class. Because she yells at us and what not to work harder and not slow down. But I don't really like that she yells at me to keep going when I'm lightheaded (I've had a constant headache for almost 5 days now)....so I'm just kind of annoyed with her.
Bergen I'm so excited you got accepted to ISU! And yes I am coming home for the summer. The last day of school is the 13th (my birthday!) of May which is the last day of finals week. I still haven't made a final decision on a school. I'm leaning towards USU, but I haven't received scholarships from either school yet....so we'll see. I think I'll be able to come home that week or that weekend. I'm getting out of here ASAP!
Hailey, hang in there babe. I know taking a break and seeing Evan will make it harder at first, but I think you really need a break. And you definitely deserve one. I think that from what I've heard about Brandon.....that I'm starting to agree with Bergen. He seems kinda like a douche. He just....doesn't seem all that committed to you. Well I know he told you that he didn't know if he wanted to be official or whatever, but if I have plans with someone and they continue to blow me off....I dunno I'd get annoyed. You've got some fun things to look forward to though! Your trip to see Evan, and then Bullet in May! At least you have those to look forward to!
Like I said, I can't wait to be back home and have things over with for a while. I just want things to slow down so I can relax haha. I am working out...as I explained before, but I really want to drop that class. I just...hate being tired all the time and just am not very happy with it. We'll see what happens, I don't think they'll allow me to drop the class, but we'll see. I love you guys and I can't wait to see you! Hang in there both of you!

Stress and tears and all that crap

So pretty sure I haven't updated ya'll in a while...sorry.
I'm glad that you both enjoyed spring break and I'm jealous that you got one. But as you both know I will be taking my own spring break. Granted classes will go on with out me and I will have to work really hard to keep up...I still am getting my depressed lil butt out of here.
So I don't know what's going on with Brandon. A couple weeks ago he called and said he'd pick me up but never showed. Then didn't talk to me for a few days. Then we hung out and he was all kissy cuddley again. Then Friday he didn't talk to me until pretty late like after my roomies and I had movie tickets to Princess and the Frog...yes I love it so I went to it again! And then Brandon went to some dance party and later my roommate who is dating his roommate asked why I stood him up. I was like, I did? Apparently he thought I did, I was pretty sure when I said I was at the movies that he got the hint that I was at the movies...but whatever.Then this last Saturday he blows me off again. Yeah k so my roommate and I bought tickets to Sherlock Holmes (great movie ps) and invited him and another guy I work with to come. They both were game. Mike (the fun nice guy I work with) came and Brandon said he'd be late. Brandon never showed. He apparently went to a bon fire with his roommates and friend from back home. I know this because my roommate told me. She's like ya he talked about you all night and wanted to see you blah blah blah and I was like really, cuz I was pretty sure he was coming with me? But whatever. I haven't talked to him since. The sinking realization that I probably was just a make out buddy is settling in. Shane and I got in a fight over this boy though because he keeps saying I defend him (which I do) but he doesn't know him and keeps rubbing in my face how I keep getting stood up. It's kinda a touchy subject. Whatever I'll get over it.
Then also as you both know, Evan is getting deployed in a few weeks. I bawled my eyes out forever and still tear up and just want to cry. I'm an emotional mess. I'm either off my rocker crazy just to not think about my reality or I'm miserable in teh realization of how badly it all sucks. I love Evan sooo much. I'm super grateful that I get to go see him next week but I also know that it might make things harder...like when coming back from break this semester I just hated it here and didn't want to be here at all because I was so homesick. I'm afraid I might get Evansick and just miss him like crazy and deploy myself to the mideast. But I wouldn't give up the opportunity to see him for the world. I love him so much. Plus I get to meet his lil girly friend and scare her in person :) hehe.
Um so over the past week I have eaten my weight in ice cream and candy...pretty sure I'm huge. And I'd like to say that I don't care...but I hate looking at myself. Ugh. I'm pmsy, I'm irritable and super moody...and I'm on the verge of crying like all the time. Not my happiest of times.
Plus zits are going crazy out of stress and who knows what. My gym shoes broke so they stabbed me in the heals so I stopped going to the gym, but I bought some new ones (their green and I like them) so hopefully I will get back on track with going. Ugh I am just kind of miserable right now.
OH!!! But pleasant knews!!! I took the sacrament for the first time in like four months on Sunday! It was really good. Tyler started talking to me again cuz he saw that I was super upset or something and he was like you know I'll always be here for you right and I was like whatev lol. I'm so happy that I can think that the Lord doesn't think of me as complete scum anymore. That's a nice thought for me. My Mom is registering Rhonwen for kindergarden tomorrow...CRAZY huh!!! Its sooo weird. Oh and on top of my emotional trauma, I had midterms and was pretty much a mess...so were my scores...oops. Whatev. Anway I'm tired so I'm gonna try to sleep (I have insomnia so it takes like an hour to fall asleep because I sit and think about everything and that really sucks too) but ya.
I love you girlies and I hope all is going well for you. Danielle I am SUPER excited for the Bullet concert and Berg I'm way happy that you are coming closer. I will be here all summer and everything because the year round thing will prolly work best for me...but you guys will have to come spend like a week with me. I mean I'll have class in the morning but we can work around that and my roomie is moving out so there will be room and it'd be tons of fun and I need to see you guys! I miss you tons! Love you!

monotony and boredom

So here I am in the University computing lab thinking all about how much I don't want to walk home. Since I have free time this afternoon I decided to blog a little bit about past happenings. As you both know, I was accepted to ISU and have made plans to transfer there for the next semester. It's amazing to me how having one thing finalized makes everything else slippery. I now have to work on scholarships and housing all over again. It's kind of insane. I'm not too happy about it, but it's a lot easier to look for scholarships now that I'm IN college instead of looking for them and TRYING to get into college. I'm super excited about my little adventure to Pocatello, but I'm majorly stressing about it too.
I now have to buy my own lap top and pay my own rent. If I don't get a well-paying job (or yikes...two well paying jobs!) this summer than I will be screwed. Also, a job when I'm up there would be super nice!
Question! Are you two coming home for the summer? Hailey--I think you mentioned something about year round schooling. Well suck balls if you did, because I want to see you two this summer!!! Danielle--I hope that you are coming home! Are you having any luck with your decision about schools? I hope it all works out for you!!
I just dropped my icky Spanish class and other than that things are looking pretty good here. My Step and Sculpt class started up today and I am MAJORLY excited to be exercising for real again! With no food in the house, it's pretty freaking easy not to eat. It's ridiculous. I can't wait until I get paid on Friday so that we can EAT. I miss food :(
Well, here's an update on my life. Now you two need to update this too! It's turning into a BergenFest. As cool as that is, it's your blog too!! Over and Out.

P.S. GIRLS CHAT ROOM ASAP!!!