Stress and tears and all that crap

So pretty sure I haven't updated ya'll in a while...sorry.
I'm glad that you both enjoyed spring break and I'm jealous that you got one. But as you both know I will be taking my own spring break. Granted classes will go on with out me and I will have to work really hard to keep up...I still am getting my depressed lil butt out of here.
So I don't know what's going on with Brandon. A couple weeks ago he called and said he'd pick me up but never showed. Then didn't talk to me for a few days. Then we hung out and he was all kissy cuddley again. Then Friday he didn't talk to me until pretty late like after my roomies and I had movie tickets to Princess and the Frog...yes I love it so I went to it again! And then Brandon went to some dance party and later my roommate who is dating his roommate asked why I stood him up. I was like, I did? Apparently he thought I did, I was pretty sure when I said I was at the movies that he got the hint that I was at the movies...but whatever.Then this last Saturday he blows me off again. Yeah k so my roommate and I bought tickets to Sherlock Holmes (great movie ps) and invited him and another guy I work with to come. They both were game. Mike (the fun nice guy I work with) came and Brandon said he'd be late. Brandon never showed. He apparently went to a bon fire with his roommates and friend from back home. I know this because my roommate told me. She's like ya he talked about you all night and wanted to see you blah blah blah and I was like really, cuz I was pretty sure he was coming with me? But whatever. I haven't talked to him since. The sinking realization that I probably was just a make out buddy is settling in. Shane and I got in a fight over this boy though because he keeps saying I defend him (which I do) but he doesn't know him and keeps rubbing in my face how I keep getting stood up. It's kinda a touchy subject. Whatever I'll get over it.
Then also as you both know, Evan is getting deployed in a few weeks. I bawled my eyes out forever and still tear up and just want to cry. I'm an emotional mess. I'm either off my rocker crazy just to not think about my reality or I'm miserable in teh realization of how badly it all sucks. I love Evan sooo much. I'm super grateful that I get to go see him next week but I also know that it might make things harder...like when coming back from break this semester I just hated it here and didn't want to be here at all because I was so homesick. I'm afraid I might get Evansick and just miss him like crazy and deploy myself to the mideast. But I wouldn't give up the opportunity to see him for the world. I love him so much. Plus I get to meet his lil girly friend and scare her in person :) hehe.
Um so over the past week I have eaten my weight in ice cream and candy...pretty sure I'm huge. And I'd like to say that I don't care...but I hate looking at myself. Ugh. I'm pmsy, I'm irritable and super moody...and I'm on the verge of crying like all the time. Not my happiest of times.
Plus zits are going crazy out of stress and who knows what. My gym shoes broke so they stabbed me in the heals so I stopped going to the gym, but I bought some new ones (their green and I like them) so hopefully I will get back on track with going. Ugh I am just kind of miserable right now.
OH!!! But pleasant knews!!! I took the sacrament for the first time in like four months on Sunday! It was really good. Tyler started talking to me again cuz he saw that I was super upset or something and he was like you know I'll always be here for you right and I was like whatev lol. I'm so happy that I can think that the Lord doesn't think of me as complete scum anymore. That's a nice thought for me. My Mom is registering Rhonwen for kindergarden tomorrow...CRAZY huh!!! Its sooo weird. Oh and on top of my emotional trauma, I had midterms and was pretty much a mess...so were my scores...oops. Whatev. Anway I'm tired so I'm gonna try to sleep (I have insomnia so it takes like an hour to fall asleep because I sit and think about everything and that really sucks too) but ya.
I love you girlies and I hope all is going well for you. Danielle I am SUPER excited for the Bullet concert and Berg I'm way happy that you are coming closer. I will be here all summer and everything because the year round thing will prolly work best for me...but you guys will have to come spend like a week with me. I mean I'll have class in the morning but we can work around that and my roomie is moving out so there will be room and it'd be tons of fun and I need to see you guys! I miss you tons! Love you!