Pretty sure I hate life right now.
I haven't been eating well or excersizing...I'm sick and it's a pain in the butt. I have no desire to do anything but sleep and never ever wake up.
So I'm pretty sure I told you guys but I'll fill ya in so far: Tyler kept saying stuff and askin me to hang out with him right. I kept saying no. Then I told him it might just be easier if he stayed out of my life and just left me alone. He was all it's your choice, if that's what you want then fine, but you know what i think of you yada yada yada. K so pretty sure that was like a week or so ago. Today he showed me the ring. He's asking his girly to marry him...I'm happy for him but a complete mess at the same time. Shit I should be over flowing with joy but like I can't. I'm upset that he had me thinking things were so bad, I'm upset that I did what I did with him when she means so much to him, and I'm upset that he gets to be happily married and I can't even get a date. I pretty much am super jealous but I know I shouldn't be and I don't want to be. I just want to be happy for him, and I am...I mean I put on a happy face and congradulated him but kinda died a little on the inside. I don't know what I'm feeling and it's killing me.
CUT WITH THE FLOW AND STICK IT IN H2O. That's pretty much what is on my mind right now.
Plus, it's been exactly one year since I've seen Peter and about five months since I've heard from him. It sucks. I hate my life and I miss him and keep dreaming that he doesn't like me and never did and never will. I hate it. Sleep is my refuge but it taunts me. I just want him to care.
I want to die. I have a huge test tomorrow and I'm whiggin.
I want to cry. I hate this.
I had a ton of fried crap and ice cream for dinner plus a sandwhich and crackers and trail mix and everything I could see. I haven't worked out because I'm sick but I want to run and just never come back.
I don't know how long I can take this...
K well I'm done whining now, later ladies.
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Aww babe I'm really sorry you're havin a bad time. You could look forward to this weekend. You're still comin home right? We still hanging out? As for Tyler...not so sure he WILL be happily married. If he was trying to mess around with you (and who knows who else)when he was dating this girl, then he probably won't change much after he's married. And the only reason he's so close to this girl is cause he got her pregnant. So...dude it has its ups and downs. Just keep lookin forward to our girl's night and we have a serious chat. Maybe even some Ice-cream! Hang in there babe. I love ya. You can call anytime.
ReplyDeleteHey Hailey...I'm sorry you are sick and that this crap with Tyler keeps popping up. At least he's made a decision and he's going to be officially out of your hair. This will be good for the both of you, even though I don't know if he's got everything straight. You shouldn't strain yourself when you're sick and eating food can help you get better, so don't feel too bad about not working out or eating sparingly. I'm jealous you too are getting together! I miss you!! Love you tons. --Bergen
ReplyDeleteThanks girls...ya I kinda had a huge melt down last night...I think I'm better. The ring was gorgeous though...I've decided to buy one and wear it lol just a cheapo one though to make me feel loved lol jk. Ya Danielle I'm still coming home this weekend and the chat is much needed. I'm ready to explode venting lol and Berg I really wish you could come home..that'd be awesome.
ReplyDeleteLove ya girls, miss ya tons!
Hailey