A New Sense Of Determination

I always feel bad when I think of days past and I realize that I haven't blogged lately. I hate to use my circumstance as an excuse for my lax bahavior, but that's all I can think of to blame it on right now. All of this crap I'm dealing with lately has given me a renewed sense of determination. I really feel like now is a good time to get my life on track. I want to feel good about myself. That's my main goal right now. I don't think that dieting and exercise helps me keep that in perspective. I get so focused on the things I want to change that I don't appreciate the things that I have. I feel really ungrateful lately because I just look at all the negative things surrounding me. I guess it's pretty easy to get caught up in the bad when you feel like that's all there is. If you take a minute to think of all the things you have, it really makes you feel bad about complaining. I am thankful I am alive. I am thankful that I live in a free country and that I have the right to do what I want. Even if that means I can diet and exercise...or be fat and lazy...I can do it. I am thankful to be smart and to have a body that allows me to do the basic necessities of life. I am grateful that I have no major health issues right now and that I am young, alive and well. Yes, I have gained a little weight. Yes, I could stand to lose a few pounds and yes, I would benefit from eating healthier and fewer quantities. But right now, I'm glad I'm me. We all have bad days, and sometimes those days turn into weeks. But you can't let those be the focus of your life. You have to look at the bigger picture and realize that these small moments don't compare to all the good surrounding you. It's taken a lot of bad to make me see the good, and yes, you really have to look for it sometimes. But once you try, it becomes so much easier to see it. I didn't mean to turn this into a rant or a sermon or anything, but these are just my thoughts right now. I'm feeling pretty lucky. Even as I type these words I see how ridiculous they might seem. I was in a wreck, my grandpa died, I am lonely and down and struggle to make ends meet. But I feel lucky that I'm alive, I have a car, my emotions are working fine and that I have to work to accomplish my goals. There's always a silver lining.

I am determined to do better in all aspects of my life. This includes our diet and exercise plan. I am not satisfied with the way I look. But I am content with it. I don't feel the need to alter it drastically. I like the way that I feel when I eat right and exercise and so that's why I'm doing this. I'm ready to do this the right way. And what better day to start than Sunday--the beginning of a fresh new week. Miss you girls and wish you the best in life. Don't let the bastards get you down!! Over and Out.